The road to Hell is paved with good intentions, so the old saying goes.
Down here on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom the meaning of this is not lost on Nosher and me.
We can see what's going on, and it is not good.
'The Dis-United Kingdom is increasingly becoming like my compost heap!' Nosher announced one afternoon, as we were turning the compost to mix the constituents more thoroughly.
'With one important difference' he continued.
Now, Nosher puts all his allotment waste plus his old Daily Mails (I'm sure most of you have guessed he is a Daily Mail reader - nothing wrong with that...) onto his compost heap. And, a year or so later, with the right kind of care, this heap of rotting matter turns into nice fresh compost, especially good for the ground, even more so if mixed with some well-rotted horse-manure.
'What is happening in Britain today is roughly similar' Nosher went on 'our society puts its rotten members (or as many as can be caught) into prison, and some time later (in theory) nice newly-reformed ex-criminals should emerge into the bright light of day, having turned into good citizen material.'
We leaned on the handles of our forks for a moment, taking in the wonderful smell of rotting compost.
'All it needs is a good dose of horse-manure soon and it will be perfect' I said. Nosher nodded. Then shook his head.
'Gordon the Moron and his Assistants in Idiocy have different plans' he explained. 'Having ignored warnings for years that crime trends indicated the need for a new prison-building programme they instead decided to give more and more serious offenders derisory community sentences, which for these already morally-degraded people amounts to no punishment at all (not for the prisoners either).'
'And then there's the effect of prison overcrowding' I added. 'Instead of renting old ships to incarcerate the overflow of jailbirds in, the idiots who rule over us have decided to let inmates out early. Hardly a disincentive to commit more crime, is it?'
'The result has been more and more crime' declared Nosher, 'and people shouldn't believe the crime statistics, they're fiddled. The sentences actually served are getting shorter and shorter, whatever the Judge may have ordered, and the Judges have been ordered by the Government to give lighter sentences anyway.'
'So what has actually happened' I suggested 'is the creation of a new career incentive scheme for criminals. The more crime you do, the more you get caught, the lighter your sentences will be, until you do only community sentences (hardly a form of punishment at all) during which you can carry on offending at will. And finally, because of the risible target-driven system the Police now have to operate under, cautions are being given out for more and more serious offences. It means such offences don't appear on the crime figures, hence the fiddling..'
Nosher nodded enthusiastically.
'That's exactly what I'm trying to say!' he exclaimed. 'Under this new system of fighting crime, the recidivists will be developing their careers very nicely, whilst they occasionally get a stern talking-to from the Police, which they will take absolutely no notice of, obviously.'
And there we have it.
The Dis-United Kingdom is now one great big career-development incentive scheme for criminals, who view the rest of us as being merely stupid for being law-abiding decent, honest, hard-working members of society.
That's what kind of country we now live in.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact the PGS Books website.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Why is NuLabour's Social Engineering Failing?
On a cold grey day Nosher and I settled down in our old deckchairs in Nosher's shed to sit out the showers.
Through the dusty, cobwebbed window we could see our precious little plants being lashed by heavy rain, but there was nothing we could do about it.
A mug of hot soup from our thermos flasks seemed to make the world a better place.
'I find it astonishing' Nosher declared 'that after nearly eleven years of NuLabour's attempts to transform our society, they're too blinded by their own self-deceit to recognise they've ruined this country with their incompetent attempts at social engineering.'
'It certainly does seem to be all going wrong' I agreed. 'Their strategy of imposing targets from the top, often based on statistics that are of questionable value, has created an aggressive target-driven culture in organisations which serves to undermine any attempt to deliver a service based on a coherent delivery strategy or a genuine service ethic.'
The rain started to fall more heavily, thundering down on the wooden roof of Nosher's shed.
'The Dis-United Kingdom' he continued, warming to his theme 'now has a health service plagued by hospital-acquired infections and disruption caused by constant re-organisation; an education system that is turning out many children who can hardly read and write yet have a string of almost worthless qualifications; a police service that has given up investigating many crimes and which many people believe is just as likely to prosecute the victim of a crime rather than the perpetrator, so keen are they to meet their Government-imposed targets.'
'Even with their obsession for certain causes' I said 'NuLabour has failed to make an impact. Think of sink estates, child poverty, school truancy levels, drug addiction, services to the elderly, and so on. They've pumped in millions of pounds, yet in all cases the problems continue to get worse. Of course they deny it, because they change the targets when things go wrong, or quietly forget about them.'
'But why?' Nosher sounded demanding 'why can't these idiots see that they're tearing this country apart?'
'I guess it's because they're amoral pragmatists who've conveniently forgotten what really matters' I replied. 'NuLabour have betrayed the most vulnerable people of this country.'
Then I added, for good measure:
'When targets matter more than people, its the people who suffer.'
Through the dusty, cobwebbed window we could see our precious little plants being lashed by heavy rain, but there was nothing we could do about it.
A mug of hot soup from our thermos flasks seemed to make the world a better place.
'I find it astonishing' Nosher declared 'that after nearly eleven years of NuLabour's attempts to transform our society, they're too blinded by their own self-deceit to recognise they've ruined this country with their incompetent attempts at social engineering.'
'It certainly does seem to be all going wrong' I agreed. 'Their strategy of imposing targets from the top, often based on statistics that are of questionable value, has created an aggressive target-driven culture in organisations which serves to undermine any attempt to deliver a service based on a coherent delivery strategy or a genuine service ethic.'
The rain started to fall more heavily, thundering down on the wooden roof of Nosher's shed.
'The Dis-United Kingdom' he continued, warming to his theme 'now has a health service plagued by hospital-acquired infections and disruption caused by constant re-organisation; an education system that is turning out many children who can hardly read and write yet have a string of almost worthless qualifications; a police service that has given up investigating many crimes and which many people believe is just as likely to prosecute the victim of a crime rather than the perpetrator, so keen are they to meet their Government-imposed targets.'
'Even with their obsession for certain causes' I said 'NuLabour has failed to make an impact. Think of sink estates, child poverty, school truancy levels, drug addiction, services to the elderly, and so on. They've pumped in millions of pounds, yet in all cases the problems continue to get worse. Of course they deny it, because they change the targets when things go wrong, or quietly forget about them.'
'But why?' Nosher sounded demanding 'why can't these idiots see that they're tearing this country apart?'
'I guess it's because they're amoral pragmatists who've conveniently forgotten what really matters' I replied. 'NuLabour have betrayed the most vulnerable people of this country.'
Then I added, for good measure:
'When targets matter more than people, its the people who suffer.'
Monday, April 28, 2008
The Currency of Evil
On a lovely afternoon Nosher and I were sat on our old deckchairs in the warm sunshine, enjoying a glass of chilled fruit juice from the solar-powered refridgerator in Nosher's old shed.
'It occured to me' said Nosher 'that the discussion we had yesterday about Britain being the home of bad manners has some relevance to our earlier discussion on the idea of a moral economy.'
'Very much so' I replied, wondering where Nosher was going with this.
'Well, I can see that people who are rude and inconsiderate are contributing negatively to the moral economy' he continued 'and that they are exploiting the tolerance and goodwill of others - but what about the problem of evil - how does that come into it? Are ill-mannered people evil?'
'Evil is a concept with doubtful application' I explained 'some religious believers take the view that Evil is some kind of entity in the world, directly opposed to Good; others think it is merely the absence of Good. I'm not sure whether we need the concept of evil in order to sustain the moral economy.'
'But surely you need some kind of concept of the moral status of acts and events that contribute negatively to the moral economy?' queried Nosher.
'Of course: but all we need is the concept of something that undermines or damages the fundamental values that underpin a morally healthy civilised society, such as basic human values and rights, plus respect and consideration for one's fellows. I don't think we need to label conduct which transgresses these values and rights "evil", although we may wish to label them "bad" in the same way that we label the morally-positive conduct "good".'
'So what should our society be teaching children about the idea of a moral economy?' Nosher persisted.
'From the earliest age children should be taught that everything they do (and sometimes don't do) can have an impact upon others, and to behave with respect and consideration for others - in other words as a morally-responsible being - one should take care to maximise the good that comes of one's actions and at the very least minimise or prevent any possible bad consequences. The idea should be that if one does not do this, there is no moral basis for demanding the same of others.'
Nosher thought on this for a moment. Then he said:
'So are you saying that the enjoyment of rights is dependent upon observing concomitant responsibilities?'
'To a certain extent, yes, that is the case' I confirmed 'an individual who transgresses the rights of others has created a situation where others have a moral right to take action to put matters right, and that may involve imposing upon the transgressor some restriction on the freedom he or she enjoys, and also upon the nature and extent of the demands he or she can make upon others.'
'Would that involve the transgressor forfeiting their human rights?'
'Yes, it might, but which rights and to what extent would be an extremely complex issue' I replied. 'The limiting case, in theory and practice, would be forfeiting the right to life, as in the imposition of the death penalty. Why human rights lawyers get all steamed up about the forfeiture of less fundamental human rights has more to do with legal technicalities and an over-reliance on the notion that no state or civil authority should have the power to deny us anything other than our freedom as punishments for transgressions. But the issues are such that to take this monovalent view is to destroy the essential subtlety of the moral economy, which functions every day at an informal level whether or not lawyers are involved. That's what society needs to grasp, and that's what we all need to understand.'
Nosher ruminated upon this for a while. Then he declared:
'Well, until more people in the Dis-United Kingdom grasp this, Britain will continue to be the home of bad manners.'
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'It occured to me' said Nosher 'that the discussion we had yesterday about Britain being the home of bad manners has some relevance to our earlier discussion on the idea of a moral economy.'
'Very much so' I replied, wondering where Nosher was going with this.
'Well, I can see that people who are rude and inconsiderate are contributing negatively to the moral economy' he continued 'and that they are exploiting the tolerance and goodwill of others - but what about the problem of evil - how does that come into it? Are ill-mannered people evil?'
'Evil is a concept with doubtful application' I explained 'some religious believers take the view that Evil is some kind of entity in the world, directly opposed to Good; others think it is merely the absence of Good. I'm not sure whether we need the concept of evil in order to sustain the moral economy.'
'But surely you need some kind of concept of the moral status of acts and events that contribute negatively to the moral economy?' queried Nosher.
'Of course: but all we need is the concept of something that undermines or damages the fundamental values that underpin a morally healthy civilised society, such as basic human values and rights, plus respect and consideration for one's fellows. I don't think we need to label conduct which transgresses these values and rights "evil", although we may wish to label them "bad" in the same way that we label the morally-positive conduct "good".'
'So what should our society be teaching children about the idea of a moral economy?' Nosher persisted.
'From the earliest age children should be taught that everything they do (and sometimes don't do) can have an impact upon others, and to behave with respect and consideration for others - in other words as a morally-responsible being - one should take care to maximise the good that comes of one's actions and at the very least minimise or prevent any possible bad consequences. The idea should be that if one does not do this, there is no moral basis for demanding the same of others.'
Nosher thought on this for a moment. Then he said:
'So are you saying that the enjoyment of rights is dependent upon observing concomitant responsibilities?'
'To a certain extent, yes, that is the case' I confirmed 'an individual who transgresses the rights of others has created a situation where others have a moral right to take action to put matters right, and that may involve imposing upon the transgressor some restriction on the freedom he or she enjoys, and also upon the nature and extent of the demands he or she can make upon others.'
'Would that involve the transgressor forfeiting their human rights?'
'Yes, it might, but which rights and to what extent would be an extremely complex issue' I replied. 'The limiting case, in theory and practice, would be forfeiting the right to life, as in the imposition of the death penalty. Why human rights lawyers get all steamed up about the forfeiture of less fundamental human rights has more to do with legal technicalities and an over-reliance on the notion that no state or civil authority should have the power to deny us anything other than our freedom as punishments for transgressions. But the issues are such that to take this monovalent view is to destroy the essential subtlety of the moral economy, which functions every day at an informal level whether or not lawyers are involved. That's what society needs to grasp, and that's what we all need to understand.'
Nosher ruminated upon this for a while. Then he declared:
'Well, until more people in the Dis-United Kingdom grasp this, Britain will continue to be the home of bad manners.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from all good booksellers.
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Britain: The Home of Bad Manners
Allotments are without doubt one of the most serene places to be, provided, that is, they are situated a reasonable distance from any sources of annoyance.
Here in our little allotment in Sough Gloucestershire in the Dis-United Kingdom my best mate Nosher and I have the privilege of enjoying this serenity as we work on our little plots side by side in the warm spring sunshine.
Much of the rest of Britain is, however, far from serene these days.
'Apparently ITV has commissioned a poll that shows that bad manners are the biggest social problem facing Britain today' said Nosher as we settled into our deckchairs outside his shed for a glass of fruit juice.
It was early afternoon and life felt good: we were tired after the morning's gardening, and our little world was a nice place to be.
Apart from the birds singing in the trees no other sounds could be heard.
'Well, I can't say I'm surprised' I said 'Britain has become a very unfriendly place over the past ten years or so.'
'Apparently' Nosher went on 'a majority of the people surveyed admitted that they were the cause of anti-social behaviour. Since over half questioned felt that bad manners were a problem in society, it means that some of those complaining also admitted to being part of the problem.'
'The decline is pro-social behaviour has its roots in the collapse of parenting skills in our society' I said 'we now have a generation of children many of whose parents never had any effective parenting, and who are now themselves producing children at a very young age. The great social engineering experiment of the liberal left has failed: simply giving people social welfare benefits without also requiring that they conduct themselves in a civilised manner and teach the same to their children was always bound to fail. We have become a nation of slobs, yobs and thugs.'
For a while we sat in silence enjoying the peace, broken only by the birds singing in the trees.
Our allotment truly is a place of escape, a quiet haven where the ignorance, stupidity, banality and brutality that characterises the Dis-United Kingdom can be left behind, if only for a few hours.
'And it's not just the youngsters' said Nosher 'apparently adults are just as bad, spitting, swearing, pushing in, shouting, driving inconsiderately, and so on. The reason this survey sounds so convincing is because it describes the reality so many of us have to put up with every day.'
'It just goes to show' I said 'that the Enlightenment idea that each person has a core of goodness inside which will be released by the power of reason and mass education is nonsense. I believe that people are born with the capacity for good and bad, and which manifests itself most is likely to be the result of how they are treated and the underlying personality and character. Right now, after several decades during which the value of good manners has been totally ignored by politicians and many parents and most schools, our society is reaping the consequences.'
'Things can only get worse' said Nosher dispiritedly.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have any difficulty obtaining a copy contact me on mywebsite.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit.
Here in our little allotment in Sough Gloucestershire in the Dis-United Kingdom my best mate Nosher and I have the privilege of enjoying this serenity as we work on our little plots side by side in the warm spring sunshine.
Much of the rest of Britain is, however, far from serene these days.
'Apparently ITV has commissioned a poll that shows that bad manners are the biggest social problem facing Britain today' said Nosher as we settled into our deckchairs outside his shed for a glass of fruit juice.
It was early afternoon and life felt good: we were tired after the morning's gardening, and our little world was a nice place to be.
Apart from the birds singing in the trees no other sounds could be heard.
'Well, I can't say I'm surprised' I said 'Britain has become a very unfriendly place over the past ten years or so.'
'Apparently' Nosher went on 'a majority of the people surveyed admitted that they were the cause of anti-social behaviour. Since over half questioned felt that bad manners were a problem in society, it means that some of those complaining also admitted to being part of the problem.'
'The decline is pro-social behaviour has its roots in the collapse of parenting skills in our society' I said 'we now have a generation of children many of whose parents never had any effective parenting, and who are now themselves producing children at a very young age. The great social engineering experiment of the liberal left has failed: simply giving people social welfare benefits without also requiring that they conduct themselves in a civilised manner and teach the same to their children was always bound to fail. We have become a nation of slobs, yobs and thugs.'
For a while we sat in silence enjoying the peace, broken only by the birds singing in the trees.
Our allotment truly is a place of escape, a quiet haven where the ignorance, stupidity, banality and brutality that characterises the Dis-United Kingdom can be left behind, if only for a few hours.
'And it's not just the youngsters' said Nosher 'apparently adults are just as bad, spitting, swearing, pushing in, shouting, driving inconsiderately, and so on. The reason this survey sounds so convincing is because it describes the reality so many of us have to put up with every day.'
'It just goes to show' I said 'that the Enlightenment idea that each person has a core of goodness inside which will be released by the power of reason and mass education is nonsense. I believe that people are born with the capacity for good and bad, and which manifests itself most is likely to be the result of how they are treated and the underlying personality and character. Right now, after several decades during which the value of good manners has been totally ignored by politicians and many parents and most schools, our society is reaping the consequences.'
'Things can only get worse' said Nosher dispiritedly.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have any difficulty obtaining a copy contact me on mywebsite.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Our Legacy...What Legacy?
Spring is now well-advanced on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom.
Mild weather has meant that the cloches and improvised polytunnels (yes, I know, horrible things, but needs must) have remained open to the elements.
And everywhere one looks signs of little plants striving to grow bigger can be seen.
All this botanical industry had put Nosher in a pensive mood. We were sitting in our old deckchairs outside his shed on a fine afernoon sipping parsnip wine.
'We nurture our little plots of land' he said slowly 'because we view them as having a value that is greater than what we can extract from them. We put horse manure into the ground every year, and we keep alive old English varieties of food plants. When we are gone, that legacy will remain for others to benefit from.'
'I feel an analogy coming on' I muttered, but Nosher did not seem to notice.
'But when you look at our little country' he continued 'what legacy have our generation provided for the young of today?'
'Well, we had "you've never had it so good" under Macmillan in the 50s' I said 'the "white heat of technology" under Wilson in the 60s (plus lots of strikes and Flower Power, of course), we had North Sea Oil in the 70s under Heath and Callaghan, plus the Three Day Week and the Winter of Discontent; in the 80s we had the Free Market under Thatcher, when she sold off the nation's assets and squandered the revenues from North Sea oil to make the rich even richer; then in the 90s we had Black Monday and the Citizens Charter under Major, and the rich got even richer still and politics descended into amoral pragmatism; and then with New Labour under Tony "I'm such a nice guy" Blair we had lots of hypocrisy, lots of spin, lots of meaningless targets to achieve, lots of wars, and the rich got even richer again; and finally, under Gordon the Moron we've had Northern Rock and the impoverishment of the poorest people in society. Oh, and the rich carried on getting even richer. That's about as much as I can manage on your parsnip wine.'
Nosher directed one of his 'you're so stupid looks' in my direction.
'No! That's not really what I meant' he spluttered 'I mean, what kind of world are the young growing up in? They are tested from almost the day they are born, every day they are bombarded with advertising that seeks to manipulate their desires; parenting skills have pretty much disappeared completely in some areas of the country, so we have teenagers roaming the streets while their parent or parents are at work or lounging about on welfare benefits; social morality has almost evaporated whilst the young are the most likely targets of violent crime, which seems to rise inexorably; our education system is so poor that many of them will end up unemployable, even if they want to work; if they are employable they face a life struggling to pay mortgages on their houses, assets that will be taken off them when they're old and need care; those who aren't employable will simply live off the state and breed more unemployables which increases the tax burden in the increasingly smaller number of taxpayers; and finally we've got all this pseudo-liberal claptrap convincing them that they're victims of society, and it's society's responsibility to put things right for them, which, of course, it doesn't do. What does that all add up to?'
'Not a very nice life' I agreed. 'And certainly not a situation that encourages self-responsibility - it merely encourages greed and exploitation. Keep people permanently worried about how they're going to pay their rent or their mortgage and they're less likely to object when the Government takes us into yet another pointless war. And for those who live off the state there's not much inducement to do much except demand more welfare benefits.'
'Not much of a legacy, is it?' said Nosher.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact my website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Mild weather has meant that the cloches and improvised polytunnels (yes, I know, horrible things, but needs must) have remained open to the elements.
And everywhere one looks signs of little plants striving to grow bigger can be seen.
All this botanical industry had put Nosher in a pensive mood. We were sitting in our old deckchairs outside his shed on a fine afernoon sipping parsnip wine.
'We nurture our little plots of land' he said slowly 'because we view them as having a value that is greater than what we can extract from them. We put horse manure into the ground every year, and we keep alive old English varieties of food plants. When we are gone, that legacy will remain for others to benefit from.'
'I feel an analogy coming on' I muttered, but Nosher did not seem to notice.
'But when you look at our little country' he continued 'what legacy have our generation provided for the young of today?'
'Well, we had "you've never had it so good" under Macmillan in the 50s' I said 'the "white heat of technology" under Wilson in the 60s (plus lots of strikes and Flower Power, of course), we had North Sea Oil in the 70s under Heath and Callaghan, plus the Three Day Week and the Winter of Discontent; in the 80s we had the Free Market under Thatcher, when she sold off the nation's assets and squandered the revenues from North Sea oil to make the rich even richer; then in the 90s we had Black Monday and the Citizens Charter under Major, and the rich got even richer still and politics descended into amoral pragmatism; and then with New Labour under Tony "I'm such a nice guy" Blair we had lots of hypocrisy, lots of spin, lots of meaningless targets to achieve, lots of wars, and the rich got even richer again; and finally, under Gordon the Moron we've had Northern Rock and the impoverishment of the poorest people in society. Oh, and the rich carried on getting even richer. That's about as much as I can manage on your parsnip wine.'
Nosher directed one of his 'you're so stupid looks' in my direction.
'No! That's not really what I meant' he spluttered 'I mean, what kind of world are the young growing up in? They are tested from almost the day they are born, every day they are bombarded with advertising that seeks to manipulate their desires; parenting skills have pretty much disappeared completely in some areas of the country, so we have teenagers roaming the streets while their parent or parents are at work or lounging about on welfare benefits; social morality has almost evaporated whilst the young are the most likely targets of violent crime, which seems to rise inexorably; our education system is so poor that many of them will end up unemployable, even if they want to work; if they are employable they face a life struggling to pay mortgages on their houses, assets that will be taken off them when they're old and need care; those who aren't employable will simply live off the state and breed more unemployables which increases the tax burden in the increasingly smaller number of taxpayers; and finally we've got all this pseudo-liberal claptrap convincing them that they're victims of society, and it's society's responsibility to put things right for them, which, of course, it doesn't do. What does that all add up to?'
'Not a very nice life' I agreed. 'And certainly not a situation that encourages self-responsibility - it merely encourages greed and exploitation. Keep people permanently worried about how they're going to pay their rent or their mortgage and they're less likely to object when the Government takes us into yet another pointless war. And for those who live off the state there's not much inducement to do much except demand more welfare benefits.'
'Not much of a legacy, is it?' said Nosher.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact my website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Friday, April 25, 2008
The Mis-Reading of Reading
England truly is a strange little country.
Hemmed in on all sides by the sea and, where that is absent, by countries who, seemingly, don't want to associate with it, England is beginning to resemble an old-fashioned lunatic asylum in which the lunatics long ago took charge.
People talk at each other but hardly anyone listens to the few individuals who still talk with wise tongues.
If the insanity continues they too will soon be silenced.
On our little allotment down in South Gloucestershire Nosher and I try to insulate ourselves from the cultural insanity all around us by the simple expedient of getting on with our lives in peace and quiet, and tending to our crops.
But occasionally the idiocy of those who think they rule over us is revealed for what it really is: ignorant, asinine stupidity that expresses only their own desire to interfere in the lives of others without taking responsibility for the consequences.
Hardly a good example to set for others to follow.
And so, one afternoon, as we sat on our old deckchairs on the small patch of grass outside Nosher's shed, a topic came up which demonstrated this lamentable situation only too well.
It was Nosher who opened the batting.
'I hear that one of Gordon the Moron's Assistants in Idiocy, the Minister for Mis-Education, has announced that children should be encouraged to read more' he said gravely 'whilst at the same time local councils are closing lending libraries at an ever increasing rate because of the lack of support from central government. This is a clear case of political cynicism disguised as mere nonsense.'
We sipped our parsnip wine in silence while I mulled this statement over.
Up in the trees a Goldfinch was uttering its characteristic song, declaring its splendour over the plainer finches.
The sky was blue.
The sun shone.
The air was warm and a refreshingly cool breeze gently caressed the senses.
All, seemingly, was well with the world.
An observer looking at the scene would not, without possessing the necessary insight, guess that this was a culture in the throes of terminal decline.
But very few people in England today possess the necessary insight.
The government is not interested in people having insight, and it's debatable whether many of our politicians have any insight themselves.
And as for the mass media - it's all about sensationalism, pretentious intellectualism, and selling consumer products to an easily manipulable audience.
So the mass media are not interested in insight either, although they often claim to be. Insight does not make money these days (I doubt it ever did).
'The irony' I said 'is that libraries have tried to lose their elitist image by stocking DVDs and computer games, but the upshot is that they are struggling to get people to read more, and most of the books they loan out are trashy novels for mass-consumption. But the ability to read serious materials intelligently is something our democratic system depends upon, for without an intelligent, well-informed electorate democracy will wither and die. That is perhaps what the idiots who rule over us really wish to achieve.'
'But don't forget' Nosher sounded enthusiastic 'that our lending library system is capable of obtaining even the most obscure items through the inter-library loan system for serious scholars, so when a library closes the few who do use local libraries intelligently are effective suffering discrimination.'
'That is not what the government or the mass media are interested in' I countered 'discrimination apparently only happens to the ignorant and mis-educated masses or to disadvantaged ethnic minorities. Those intelligent, educated people who do not have the advantage of being members of a university library, yet who cannot afford to buy large quantities of books in order to fulfil their civic duty to maintain themselves as educated and well-informed members of the electorate, are effectively discriminated against when their local lending-library closes down. If the government or the mass media were at all seriously interested in making sure our democracy survives, that is what they should be concerned about. Instead they twitter on about disadvantaged minorities and translating Shakespeare into the clumsy, ugly, attenuated vernacular of rap so that it our cultural heritage is debased even further.'
Nosher sighed and looked up in the trees at the Goldfinch, still twittering away.
'It's a pretty bird' he commented 'with a voracious appetite and great vanity.'
He paused for a moment as if considering his next words.
'Just about sums our modern consumer culture up: relentless greed and uninsightful narcissisism.'
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact my website.
Please use you local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
Hemmed in on all sides by the sea and, where that is absent, by countries who, seemingly, don't want to associate with it, England is beginning to resemble an old-fashioned lunatic asylum in which the lunatics long ago took charge.
People talk at each other but hardly anyone listens to the few individuals who still talk with wise tongues.
If the insanity continues they too will soon be silenced.
On our little allotment down in South Gloucestershire Nosher and I try to insulate ourselves from the cultural insanity all around us by the simple expedient of getting on with our lives in peace and quiet, and tending to our crops.
But occasionally the idiocy of those who think they rule over us is revealed for what it really is: ignorant, asinine stupidity that expresses only their own desire to interfere in the lives of others without taking responsibility for the consequences.
Hardly a good example to set for others to follow.
And so, one afternoon, as we sat on our old deckchairs on the small patch of grass outside Nosher's shed, a topic came up which demonstrated this lamentable situation only too well.
It was Nosher who opened the batting.
'I hear that one of Gordon the Moron's Assistants in Idiocy, the Minister for Mis-Education, has announced that children should be encouraged to read more' he said gravely 'whilst at the same time local councils are closing lending libraries at an ever increasing rate because of the lack of support from central government. This is a clear case of political cynicism disguised as mere nonsense.'
We sipped our parsnip wine in silence while I mulled this statement over.
Up in the trees a Goldfinch was uttering its characteristic song, declaring its splendour over the plainer finches.
The sky was blue.
The sun shone.
The air was warm and a refreshingly cool breeze gently caressed the senses.
All, seemingly, was well with the world.
An observer looking at the scene would not, without possessing the necessary insight, guess that this was a culture in the throes of terminal decline.
But very few people in England today possess the necessary insight.
The government is not interested in people having insight, and it's debatable whether many of our politicians have any insight themselves.
And as for the mass media - it's all about sensationalism, pretentious intellectualism, and selling consumer products to an easily manipulable audience.
So the mass media are not interested in insight either, although they often claim to be. Insight does not make money these days (I doubt it ever did).
'The irony' I said 'is that libraries have tried to lose their elitist image by stocking DVDs and computer games, but the upshot is that they are struggling to get people to read more, and most of the books they loan out are trashy novels for mass-consumption. But the ability to read serious materials intelligently is something our democratic system depends upon, for without an intelligent, well-informed electorate democracy will wither and die. That is perhaps what the idiots who rule over us really wish to achieve.'
'But don't forget' Nosher sounded enthusiastic 'that our lending library system is capable of obtaining even the most obscure items through the inter-library loan system for serious scholars, so when a library closes the few who do use local libraries intelligently are effective suffering discrimination.'
'That is not what the government or the mass media are interested in' I countered 'discrimination apparently only happens to the ignorant and mis-educated masses or to disadvantaged ethnic minorities. Those intelligent, educated people who do not have the advantage of being members of a university library, yet who cannot afford to buy large quantities of books in order to fulfil their civic duty to maintain themselves as educated and well-informed members of the electorate, are effectively discriminated against when their local lending-library closes down. If the government or the mass media were at all seriously interested in making sure our democracy survives, that is what they should be concerned about. Instead they twitter on about disadvantaged minorities and translating Shakespeare into the clumsy, ugly, attenuated vernacular of rap so that it our cultural heritage is debased even further.'
Nosher sighed and looked up in the trees at the Goldfinch, still twittering away.
'It's a pretty bird' he commented 'with a voracious appetite and great vanity.'
He paused for a moment as if considering his next words.
'Just about sums our modern consumer culture up: relentless greed and uninsightful narcissisism.'
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact my website.
Please use you local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
The Jailbirds Who Didn't Want To Leave
Nosher arrived at the allotment this morning chuckling to himself, but when I asked him why he shook his head and wandered off, still chortling merrily away.
As we toiled on our little plots all morning I could hear his little chuckles from time to time, and could only wonder what had brought about this transformation.
Normally he prefers to adopt a curmudgeonly attitude towards life, although not entirely serious in its demeanour.
It is, of course, a misconception that the English like to be miserable - we are not entirely serious even about our own misery.
And when an Englishman is lighthearted for no apparent reason, then you know he is really covering up some deep disgust or disaffection.
My reflections on this matter brought me to the conclusion that someone or something had really offended Nosher on this April-shower day on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom.
And thus is proved to be.
In the afternoon, our toiling over and the warm sun bidding us to relax in our old deckchairs, we settled down outside Nosher's shed and enjoyed a glass of his excellent parsnip wine.
'So what's all the merriment about?' I asked.
Nosher beamed with joy.
'Thought you'd never ask' he replied. 'Apparently at a prison in Yorkshire the guards have discovered that a local drug dealer has been making deliveries to the inmates for weeks by breaking into the jail at night - but none of the prisoners took the opportunity to escape. They preferred life inside!'
Nosher's chuckling finished his sentence, and he shook his head in apparent disbelief.
'Wouldn't you normally be appalled by this sort of thing?' I inquired.
'This time it's different!' declared Nosher. 'First, it just shows how lax security is in our prison system, and second, it shows just how comfortable the inmates are that none of them tried to escape. They get TV in their cells, free bed and board, and they can have drugs delivered in on demand. Prison is clearly no deterrent to crime when life inside is so soft - and I don't know how anyone can deny it anymore.'
This time Nosher ended his utterance with a hint of outrage in his voice. So this was what his merriment was all about.
We gazed over our little agrarian world as the sun gently caressed the new plants into growth. The birds were singing, the sky was blue, and everything was at peace. Who in their right mind would want to be anywhere else?
'Well, actually' I said 'the cat was out of the bag a couple of weeks ago.'
Nosher looked at me with mock surprise.
'Yes', I continued 'on an official prison visit our suave Minister for Injustice, Mr Jack 'Slimey' Straw, was informed by an inmate that the place was just like a hotel, and if it was meant to deter crime life in jail needed to be made a lot harder. Since it is impossible to conceive that such a statement is in the interests of the Government or the Prison Service, the only reasonable inference is that this story is true. Ergo, in the words of a prisoner, prison is soft on crime and the causes of crime.'
There was a long silence as Nosher apparently digested this information. Clearly he was behind the times, and his mirth had been all for nothing.
'So do you think any of this will have an effect on penal policy?' he asked, more serious now.
'Not a jot' I told him 'the Dis-United Kingdom is now incapable of being hard on crime because of the ridiculous Human Rights legislation that the pseudo-liberal elite have forced upon the people of this country. Criminals now have more rights than their victims and the decent honest people in society. And there's a well-funded bureaucracy devoted to taking offence on the behalf of inmates, campaigning for conditions in jails to be made softer still.'
Nosher looked truly miserable now.
'That means that life on the outside will only get worse' he said, consoling himself with a sip of parsnip wine.
It seemed that Nosher was back to his old self, once again enjoying his disaffection.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact the PGS Books website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
As we toiled on our little plots all morning I could hear his little chuckles from time to time, and could only wonder what had brought about this transformation.
Normally he prefers to adopt a curmudgeonly attitude towards life, although not entirely serious in its demeanour.
It is, of course, a misconception that the English like to be miserable - we are not entirely serious even about our own misery.
And when an Englishman is lighthearted for no apparent reason, then you know he is really covering up some deep disgust or disaffection.
My reflections on this matter brought me to the conclusion that someone or something had really offended Nosher on this April-shower day on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom.
And thus is proved to be.
In the afternoon, our toiling over and the warm sun bidding us to relax in our old deckchairs, we settled down outside Nosher's shed and enjoyed a glass of his excellent parsnip wine.
'So what's all the merriment about?' I asked.
Nosher beamed with joy.
'Thought you'd never ask' he replied. 'Apparently at a prison in Yorkshire the guards have discovered that a local drug dealer has been making deliveries to the inmates for weeks by breaking into the jail at night - but none of the prisoners took the opportunity to escape. They preferred life inside!'
Nosher's chuckling finished his sentence, and he shook his head in apparent disbelief.
'Wouldn't you normally be appalled by this sort of thing?' I inquired.
'This time it's different!' declared Nosher. 'First, it just shows how lax security is in our prison system, and second, it shows just how comfortable the inmates are that none of them tried to escape. They get TV in their cells, free bed and board, and they can have drugs delivered in on demand. Prison is clearly no deterrent to crime when life inside is so soft - and I don't know how anyone can deny it anymore.'
This time Nosher ended his utterance with a hint of outrage in his voice. So this was what his merriment was all about.
We gazed over our little agrarian world as the sun gently caressed the new plants into growth. The birds were singing, the sky was blue, and everything was at peace. Who in their right mind would want to be anywhere else?
'Well, actually' I said 'the cat was out of the bag a couple of weeks ago.'
Nosher looked at me with mock surprise.
'Yes', I continued 'on an official prison visit our suave Minister for Injustice, Mr Jack 'Slimey' Straw, was informed by an inmate that the place was just like a hotel, and if it was meant to deter crime life in jail needed to be made a lot harder. Since it is impossible to conceive that such a statement is in the interests of the Government or the Prison Service, the only reasonable inference is that this story is true. Ergo, in the words of a prisoner, prison is soft on crime and the causes of crime.'
There was a long silence as Nosher apparently digested this information. Clearly he was behind the times, and his mirth had been all for nothing.
'So do you think any of this will have an effect on penal policy?' he asked, more serious now.
'Not a jot' I told him 'the Dis-United Kingdom is now incapable of being hard on crime because of the ridiculous Human Rights legislation that the pseudo-liberal elite have forced upon the people of this country. Criminals now have more rights than their victims and the decent honest people in society. And there's a well-funded bureaucracy devoted to taking offence on the behalf of inmates, campaigning for conditions in jails to be made softer still.'
Nosher looked truly miserable now.
'That means that life on the outside will only get worse' he said, consoling himself with a sip of parsnip wine.
It seemed that Nosher was back to his old self, once again enjoying his disaffection.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have difficulty obtaining a copy contact the PGS Books website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
The 'Why Bother' Society
Here in the good old Dis-United Kingdom the grey, windy, showery weather has at last given way to warm sunshine.
This always induces a sense of mild euphoria in most English people, who are relieved not to feel the obsessive burden of complaining about the weather, a peculiarly English compulsion.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire Nosher proved to be immune to this euphoria and was muttering gloomily all morning as he dug over his little plot. By lunchtime I was curious to know what it was all about.
'A penny for your thoughts?' I offered, as we settled in our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed. We were hot after digging and so we each had a glass of cold fruit juice from Nosher's new solar-powered refridgerator.
'Why bother?' was all he said in reply.
'That's not like you!' I said 'you've usually got something to complain about!'
'No!' Nosher sounded even more irritated 'that's the conclusion of a report by the Reform think tank. Britain is becoming a "why bother" society. High taxes, generous welfare benefits, and a failing education system have resulted in low motivation to make any effort to succeed at anything. The result is low social and economic mobility, and the country's economy is suffering.'
'Did we need a think tank to tell us all this?' I said 'I wonder how much money was wasted on this report? I'm sure you would have told them the results for free if they'd bothered to ask you.'
'It's about time allotment-holders were consulted more on dealing with the problems of our society' Nosher confirmed. 'However, I do agree with their conclusions: lower taxation and less government intervention in people's lives. The nanny state has induced a victim culture in our society which is exploited by many people in order to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. That's what we need to change, and quickly or this country's going down the pan.'
'Hard to disagree with that' I said 'but will the idiots who think they're in charge have the moral courage to do anything effective about it before our little country implodes?'
'I doubt it' said Nosher.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good bookshops.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
This always induces a sense of mild euphoria in most English people, who are relieved not to feel the obsessive burden of complaining about the weather, a peculiarly English compulsion.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire Nosher proved to be immune to this euphoria and was muttering gloomily all morning as he dug over his little plot. By lunchtime I was curious to know what it was all about.
'A penny for your thoughts?' I offered, as we settled in our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed. We were hot after digging and so we each had a glass of cold fruit juice from Nosher's new solar-powered refridgerator.
'Why bother?' was all he said in reply.
'That's not like you!' I said 'you've usually got something to complain about!'
'No!' Nosher sounded even more irritated 'that's the conclusion of a report by the Reform think tank. Britain is becoming a "why bother" society. High taxes, generous welfare benefits, and a failing education system have resulted in low motivation to make any effort to succeed at anything. The result is low social and economic mobility, and the country's economy is suffering.'
'Did we need a think tank to tell us all this?' I said 'I wonder how much money was wasted on this report? I'm sure you would have told them the results for free if they'd bothered to ask you.'
'It's about time allotment-holders were consulted more on dealing with the problems of our society' Nosher confirmed. 'However, I do agree with their conclusions: lower taxation and less government intervention in people's lives. The nanny state has induced a victim culture in our society which is exploited by many people in order to avoid taking responsibility for their lives. That's what we need to change, and quickly or this country's going down the pan.'
'Hard to disagree with that' I said 'but will the idiots who think they're in charge have the moral courage to do anything effective about it before our little country implodes?'
'I doubt it' said Nosher.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good bookshops.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Children in UK Face Poor Mental Health
Here on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom we've been discussing the latest report from the Children's Society, a charity which devotes its efforts to giving children a better childhood.
Nosher had been muttering to himself all morning, and by the time we settle into our deckchairs in the warm sunshine outside his shed he had his opinions well-prepared.
'Are these million children who are anxious and depressed the ones who roam the streets causing trouble, or the ones who stay at home glued to their computers playing moronic computer games?' he offered by way of an opening gambit.
Nosher's opinion of children was evidently not very high today.
'I'm not sure the study asked that question' I replied 'the more important issues is why they are facing mental health problems and what to do about it.'
At that point a family of starlings started quarelling in a nearby tree, making a lot of noise.
'It's supposed to be something to do with peer pressure to have the latest toys and clothes' said Nosher.
'Such pressures must always have existed' I said 'what's happened is that the more toys and clothes children have, the less they seem content with what they've got. It would appear to be about self-image, ego-security and comparing themselves with their friends.'
The starlings reacted to this with even more furious exchanges up in the nearby tree. Nosher looked at me with feigned disapproval.
'So the little blighters aren't being taught by their parents to have realistic expectations of life, or be content with what they've got and make the best of their circumstances' he asserted. 'In the old days we had far less and just got on with our lives.'
This comment produced a fresh outburst from the starling family who now sounded truly indignant, their raucous calls echoing over the entire area.
'Well, if you wish to go down your usual route' I said 'you will no doubt be saying that children today aren't taught to have any backbone and develop self-reliance and emotional resilience. I'm not sure it's just about that.'
Nosher gave me his 'you're so stupid' look.
'In the past children didn't have any choice' he declared 'except for the pampered children of the rich. If ordinary working class peoples didn't get on with life we sunk to unimaginable levels of poverty and deprivation. Complaining made no difference, so you just got on with things the best way you could. That's what's lacking in today's children, it would appear: they expect to be rewarded for complaining about their lives instead of learning constructive skills to improve things for themselves.'
'So you're saying that the children of today are being indulged when they complain and thus never learn to be satisfied with what they've got, nor do they learn to be resourceful and self-reliant?' I queried.
'And what's wrong with that view?' Nosher demanded 'if you let children grow up emotionally weak and insecure you end up with teenagers with the emotional and moral maturity of five-year-olds, and temper tantrums to match.These kids simply aren't growing up, and I blame the parents for being too indulgent.'
'The report reaches a quite different conclusion' I chided 'it says that children today are exposed to too much pressure to grow up too soon, and as a result can't cope, and suffer mental health problems.'
'Pressure to grow up too soon?' Nosher scoffed. 'The teenagers roaming the streets with all the creative disaffection of five-year-olds aren't growing up too soon - they doing their very best not to! They may think they're being grown up, but in fact they're functioning at the level of out-of-control brats because their parents haven't insisted that they do grow up!'
'You may have a point there, Nosher' was all I could say.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have problems obtaining a copy contact me through my website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Nosher had been muttering to himself all morning, and by the time we settle into our deckchairs in the warm sunshine outside his shed he had his opinions well-prepared.
'Are these million children who are anxious and depressed the ones who roam the streets causing trouble, or the ones who stay at home glued to their computers playing moronic computer games?' he offered by way of an opening gambit.
Nosher's opinion of children was evidently not very high today.
'I'm not sure the study asked that question' I replied 'the more important issues is why they are facing mental health problems and what to do about it.'
At that point a family of starlings started quarelling in a nearby tree, making a lot of noise.
'It's supposed to be something to do with peer pressure to have the latest toys and clothes' said Nosher.
'Such pressures must always have existed' I said 'what's happened is that the more toys and clothes children have, the less they seem content with what they've got. It would appear to be about self-image, ego-security and comparing themselves with their friends.'
The starlings reacted to this with even more furious exchanges up in the nearby tree. Nosher looked at me with feigned disapproval.
'So the little blighters aren't being taught by their parents to have realistic expectations of life, or be content with what they've got and make the best of their circumstances' he asserted. 'In the old days we had far less and just got on with our lives.'
This comment produced a fresh outburst from the starling family who now sounded truly indignant, their raucous calls echoing over the entire area.
'Well, if you wish to go down your usual route' I said 'you will no doubt be saying that children today aren't taught to have any backbone and develop self-reliance and emotional resilience. I'm not sure it's just about that.'
Nosher gave me his 'you're so stupid' look.
'In the past children didn't have any choice' he declared 'except for the pampered children of the rich. If ordinary working class peoples didn't get on with life we sunk to unimaginable levels of poverty and deprivation. Complaining made no difference, so you just got on with things the best way you could. That's what's lacking in today's children, it would appear: they expect to be rewarded for complaining about their lives instead of learning constructive skills to improve things for themselves.'
'So you're saying that the children of today are being indulged when they complain and thus never learn to be satisfied with what they've got, nor do they learn to be resourceful and self-reliant?' I queried.
'And what's wrong with that view?' Nosher demanded 'if you let children grow up emotionally weak and insecure you end up with teenagers with the emotional and moral maturity of five-year-olds, and temper tantrums to match.These kids simply aren't growing up, and I blame the parents for being too indulgent.'
'The report reaches a quite different conclusion' I chided 'it says that children today are exposed to too much pressure to grow up too soon, and as a result can't cope, and suffer mental health problems.'
'Pressure to grow up too soon?' Nosher scoffed. 'The teenagers roaming the streets with all the creative disaffection of five-year-olds aren't growing up too soon - they doing their very best not to! They may think they're being grown up, but in fact they're functioning at the level of out-of-control brats because their parents haven't insisted that they do grow up!'
'You may have a point there, Nosher' was all I could say.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
If you have problems obtaining a copy contact me through my website.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Gordon the Moron's Latest Scam
'This really takes the biscuit!' exclaimed Nosher as he and I settled down into our old deckchairs in the shelter of his allotment shed.
'Do you mean the showers?' I asked.
Here in England this spring the April showers are more like cold March squalls, and do not make allotment gardening any easier.
But we'd had a couple of hours of reasonably dry weather to get things done, and now we watched the rain through the dusty cobwebbed window of Nosher's shed.
'No, I don't mean the rain!' Nosher sounded exasperated. He handed me my thermos flask and we each poured ourselves a mug of hot soup.
'Is this going to be a quiz?' I said.
'It's Gordon the Moron!' replied Nosher. 'He's planning to use our allotment subscription money to make loans to us so that we then have to pay interest on our own money that we paid to him in the first place! There must be a law against this sort of scam!'
It really is amazing how events in real life appear to mirror what goes on in the world of our little allotment. The Gordon the Moron in question is the Chairman of our Allotment Committee, and he's about as competent as the real-life Gordon the Moron who thinks he's running the country.
'Of course' I explained 'the fact that our great leader and Prime Minister had the chiefs of the big banks around to No.10 for a cosy little meeting last Friday probably has no bearing on the Bank of England's decision to loan these same big banks £50 billion of taxpayers' money which they'll then lend back to us at exhorbitant rates of interest. Meanwhile Darling the Farthing is sat inside No. 11 Downing Street presumably working on his autobiography, which I think will be entitled "The Chancellor Who Wasn't".'
'The really sick thing about all this' said Nosher 'is that this £50 billion of taxpayers' money is being given to people who already pay themselves enormous salaries for losing other people's money, just to get them out of the mess they've got themselves into through their own reckless greed and incompetence.'
'Yep' I said 'the free market is just a myth that politicians and economists use to pretend they know what they're doing. And then when ordinary people can't pay their mortgage because the interest rates have being hiked up, they won't find Gordon the Moron on their doorstep offering them £50 billion at low interest rates. Oh, no. Their mortage provider will be making life difficult for them and claiming that's the way of the free market!'
The rain had eased off and we both started fidgeting, hoping to get outside again soon.
'What I can't understand' Nosher said slowly 'is that this £50 billion of our money is being loaned to the banks at very favourable rates supposedly because the inter-bank lending market has suddenly dried up. Unless money can suddenly vanish into thin air, the money banks usually lend to each other is still out there somewhere. So if the banks aren't lending each other money anymore, why can't the banks that are holding onto all this money use it to lend to customers who need mortgages? It appears that Gordon the Moron has allowed them to get us over a barrel, and it doesn't make any sense!'
'I don't pretend to be an economist' I said 'although I'm not convinced that economists actually understand economics anyway. But the feature of these events that really stands out is Gordon the Moron's staggering incompetence. He could have used the bank's desire to obtain £50 billion from the Government as a means of getting them to accept better, and more effective, regulation of the financial markets, so that they could no longer get away with rewarding themselves for losing their shareholders' money, and passing the cost of their greed and incompetence onto completely innocent mortgage payers. Because that is exactly what a lot of this £50 billion will be used for - to pay the over-inflated salaries and bonuses of bank chiefs in the City of London because their businesses are short of cash. Instead of taking pay cuts and tightening their belts in response to their own reckless incompetence, they'll pay themselves even more and charge their customers - the ordinary people of this country who have to struggle to pay their mortgages - even higher interest rates. That, apparently, is how the free market works. People in positions of power and influence get rich by exploiting those who can't defend themselves against financial predators. And Gordon the Moron helps them get away with it.'
The rain had now stopped and both of us stood up and prepared to go outside again.
'I guess Gordon the Moron will be appearing on TV this evening telling us all how kind and generous he is and he's only acting in our best interests' I continued as I pottered out of the shed door into the damp world outside.
'He probably doesn't expect anyone to believe him' muttered Nosher 'and if he does, he's more of a moron than we thought.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more from http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
'Do you mean the showers?' I asked.
Here in England this spring the April showers are more like cold March squalls, and do not make allotment gardening any easier.
But we'd had a couple of hours of reasonably dry weather to get things done, and now we watched the rain through the dusty cobwebbed window of Nosher's shed.
'No, I don't mean the rain!' Nosher sounded exasperated. He handed me my thermos flask and we each poured ourselves a mug of hot soup.
'Is this going to be a quiz?' I said.
'It's Gordon the Moron!' replied Nosher. 'He's planning to use our allotment subscription money to make loans to us so that we then have to pay interest on our own money that we paid to him in the first place! There must be a law against this sort of scam!'
It really is amazing how events in real life appear to mirror what goes on in the world of our little allotment. The Gordon the Moron in question is the Chairman of our Allotment Committee, and he's about as competent as the real-life Gordon the Moron who thinks he's running the country.
'Of course' I explained 'the fact that our great leader and Prime Minister had the chiefs of the big banks around to No.10 for a cosy little meeting last Friday probably has no bearing on the Bank of England's decision to loan these same big banks £50 billion of taxpayers' money which they'll then lend back to us at exhorbitant rates of interest. Meanwhile Darling the Farthing is sat inside No. 11 Downing Street presumably working on his autobiography, which I think will be entitled "The Chancellor Who Wasn't".'
'The really sick thing about all this' said Nosher 'is that this £50 billion of taxpayers' money is being given to people who already pay themselves enormous salaries for losing other people's money, just to get them out of the mess they've got themselves into through their own reckless greed and incompetence.'
'Yep' I said 'the free market is just a myth that politicians and economists use to pretend they know what they're doing. And then when ordinary people can't pay their mortgage because the interest rates have being hiked up, they won't find Gordon the Moron on their doorstep offering them £50 billion at low interest rates. Oh, no. Their mortage provider will be making life difficult for them and claiming that's the way of the free market!'
The rain had eased off and we both started fidgeting, hoping to get outside again soon.
'What I can't understand' Nosher said slowly 'is that this £50 billion of our money is being loaned to the banks at very favourable rates supposedly because the inter-bank lending market has suddenly dried up. Unless money can suddenly vanish into thin air, the money banks usually lend to each other is still out there somewhere. So if the banks aren't lending each other money anymore, why can't the banks that are holding onto all this money use it to lend to customers who need mortgages? It appears that Gordon the Moron has allowed them to get us over a barrel, and it doesn't make any sense!'
'I don't pretend to be an economist' I said 'although I'm not convinced that economists actually understand economics anyway. But the feature of these events that really stands out is Gordon the Moron's staggering incompetence. He could have used the bank's desire to obtain £50 billion from the Government as a means of getting them to accept better, and more effective, regulation of the financial markets, so that they could no longer get away with rewarding themselves for losing their shareholders' money, and passing the cost of their greed and incompetence onto completely innocent mortgage payers. Because that is exactly what a lot of this £50 billion will be used for - to pay the over-inflated salaries and bonuses of bank chiefs in the City of London because their businesses are short of cash. Instead of taking pay cuts and tightening their belts in response to their own reckless incompetence, they'll pay themselves even more and charge their customers - the ordinary people of this country who have to struggle to pay their mortgages - even higher interest rates. That, apparently, is how the free market works. People in positions of power and influence get rich by exploiting those who can't defend themselves against financial predators. And Gordon the Moron helps them get away with it.'
The rain had now stopped and both of us stood up and prepared to go outside again.
'I guess Gordon the Moron will be appearing on TV this evening telling us all how kind and generous he is and he's only acting in our best interests' I continued as I pottered out of the shed door into the damp world outside.
'He probably doesn't expect anyone to believe him' muttered Nosher 'and if he does, he's more of a moron than we thought.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more from http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Rivers of Blood...and Carrot Juice
Here in the good old Dis-United Kingdom the issues of immigration control, integration and the failure of multiculturalism have at last become respectable mainstream topics, as they should have been from the first.
Trevor Phillips, the head honcho of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, has openly stated that Enoch Powell's 'rivers of blood' speech of 40 years ago caused the issues to be suppressed until now.
Until very recently, anyone who raised the issue of immigration has been immediately branded as a 'racist' by the politically-correct quasi-fascist champions of pseudo-liberalism.
(Enoch Powell was not a racist, as the dishonest Liberal Left portrayed him, he used the stark idioms of his time to draw attention to an issue that was already causing social problems and could only get worse if nothing were done about it.)
Recently, though, things have started to change, and immigration is no longer a topic discussed in muttered conversations behind pillars at dinner parties, or in dark corners in public houses. It has become mainstream. And about time too.
And Enoch's latter-day supporters are courageously emerging from their self-imposed silence and making themselves heard.
Even those who blame Enoch for the long silence can't seem to bring themselves to condemn him entirely.
For Trevor Phillips does not believe Enoch got it completely wrong.
Here in the Dis-United Kingdom we have not experienced race riots as Enoch predicted, but, according to Phillips the result of uncontrolled immigration has been a kind of 'cold war' between different immigrant and ethnic communities, in which these groups live side by side but do not mix or communicate.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire, Nosher and me were mulling over these comments over a glass of Nosher's excellent home-made parsnip wine.
As usual, after a morning's work on our little plots, we were sitting in our old deckchairs on the grass outside Nosher's old shed, the grey overcast sky not yet venting its wrath on us insignificant mortals far below.
'I think Phillips is a little unkind to poor old Enoch' I said 'after all, Enoch was just trying to get the British establishment to acknowledge that if immigration was not controlled there would be serious problems in the longer term. But he was so apocalyptic that all our weak-kneed politicians immediately backed off, and so immigration continued to be uncontrolled, whilst this country acquired a reputation for being xenophobic. The first was folly, the second quite undeserved, given our historical record of absorbing immigrants. Enoch can hardly be blamed for all that!'
Nosher swirled the amber nectar around in his glass contemplatively, then took too small a sip.
'We've seen it all before' he announced dryly 'in 1968, long before you ever came to this allotment, the plot you now have was occupied by an old chap called Enoch, and he said something very similar to Enoch Powell.'
'Were you having an immigration problem back then?' I asked, already intrigued.
'Yes, in a way' Nosher replied 'allotment holders were bringing in too many foreign species, and we also had a terrible couch-grass problem at the time. Enoch warned that if we did not manage the process of change properly, we would find it increasingly difficult to grow our traditional varieties of vegetables and so on, and we'd be fighting a constant battle against encroaching weeds. We called it Enoch's "Rivers of Carrot Juice" speech.'
'So what happened?'
Nosher grimaced, as if the memories pained him.
'The usual' he replied. 'Back then the Chair of the Allotment Committee was a pushy little chap we called Hilarious Harold, on account of his obsession with the "white heat of technology". Hilarious Harold said that foreign species benefitted our allotment, and weeds were an issue individual allotment holders should sort out for themselves with the new solar-powered mini-tractors he was sure would be available by the very next spring.'
'And were they?'
'Of course not!' Nosher was indignant 'he was talking out of his hat, as he usually did!'
'So what eventually happened?' I asked.
'Well, those of us who treasured our traditional English varieties of vegetables had to soldier on, whilst the lazy gardeners who didn't dig out their couch-grass condemned the rest of us to a permanent couch-grass problem as it spreads and multiplies so quickly. More recently, the green movement has seen the return of allotment gardeners who are interested in old varieties and who also dig out their couch grass effectively, so things are at last improving on that front.'
'Even so' I said 'it may take more than that to sort out the issues of uncontrolled immigration, the failure to integrate, and the abject failure of multiculturalism in our society.'
Nosher pursed his lips.
'I don't think we should expect too much of Gordon the Moron or Dave "The People's Toff" Cameron' was all he would say on that topic.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Trevor Phillips, the head honcho of the Equality and Human Rights Commission, has openly stated that Enoch Powell's 'rivers of blood' speech of 40 years ago caused the issues to be suppressed until now.
Until very recently, anyone who raised the issue of immigration has been immediately branded as a 'racist' by the politically-correct quasi-fascist champions of pseudo-liberalism.
(Enoch Powell was not a racist, as the dishonest Liberal Left portrayed him, he used the stark idioms of his time to draw attention to an issue that was already causing social problems and could only get worse if nothing were done about it.)
Recently, though, things have started to change, and immigration is no longer a topic discussed in muttered conversations behind pillars at dinner parties, or in dark corners in public houses. It has become mainstream. And about time too.
And Enoch's latter-day supporters are courageously emerging from their self-imposed silence and making themselves heard.
Even those who blame Enoch for the long silence can't seem to bring themselves to condemn him entirely.
For Trevor Phillips does not believe Enoch got it completely wrong.
Here in the Dis-United Kingdom we have not experienced race riots as Enoch predicted, but, according to Phillips the result of uncontrolled immigration has been a kind of 'cold war' between different immigrant and ethnic communities, in which these groups live side by side but do not mix or communicate.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire, Nosher and me were mulling over these comments over a glass of Nosher's excellent home-made parsnip wine.
As usual, after a morning's work on our little plots, we were sitting in our old deckchairs on the grass outside Nosher's old shed, the grey overcast sky not yet venting its wrath on us insignificant mortals far below.
'I think Phillips is a little unkind to poor old Enoch' I said 'after all, Enoch was just trying to get the British establishment to acknowledge that if immigration was not controlled there would be serious problems in the longer term. But he was so apocalyptic that all our weak-kneed politicians immediately backed off, and so immigration continued to be uncontrolled, whilst this country acquired a reputation for being xenophobic. The first was folly, the second quite undeserved, given our historical record of absorbing immigrants. Enoch can hardly be blamed for all that!'
Nosher swirled the amber nectar around in his glass contemplatively, then took too small a sip.
'We've seen it all before' he announced dryly 'in 1968, long before you ever came to this allotment, the plot you now have was occupied by an old chap called Enoch, and he said something very similar to Enoch Powell.'
'Were you having an immigration problem back then?' I asked, already intrigued.
'Yes, in a way' Nosher replied 'allotment holders were bringing in too many foreign species, and we also had a terrible couch-grass problem at the time. Enoch warned that if we did not manage the process of change properly, we would find it increasingly difficult to grow our traditional varieties of vegetables and so on, and we'd be fighting a constant battle against encroaching weeds. We called it Enoch's "Rivers of Carrot Juice" speech.'
'So what happened?'
Nosher grimaced, as if the memories pained him.
'The usual' he replied. 'Back then the Chair of the Allotment Committee was a pushy little chap we called Hilarious Harold, on account of his obsession with the "white heat of technology". Hilarious Harold said that foreign species benefitted our allotment, and weeds were an issue individual allotment holders should sort out for themselves with the new solar-powered mini-tractors he was sure would be available by the very next spring.'
'And were they?'
'Of course not!' Nosher was indignant 'he was talking out of his hat, as he usually did!'
'So what eventually happened?' I asked.
'Well, those of us who treasured our traditional English varieties of vegetables had to soldier on, whilst the lazy gardeners who didn't dig out their couch-grass condemned the rest of us to a permanent couch-grass problem as it spreads and multiplies so quickly. More recently, the green movement has seen the return of allotment gardeners who are interested in old varieties and who also dig out their couch grass effectively, so things are at last improving on that front.'
'Even so' I said 'it may take more than that to sort out the issues of uncontrolled immigration, the failure to integrate, and the abject failure of multiculturalism in our society.'
Nosher pursed his lips.
'I don't think we should expect too much of Gordon the Moron or Dave "The People's Toff" Cameron' was all he would say on that topic.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Zimbabwe's Curse of the Mugabe Mummy
Few things are as tragic as watching a dreadful disaster unfold yet being powerless to to anything to prevent it.
This is now the situation in Zimbabwe, where the sinister figure of Robert Mugabe, the only world leader to be embalmed whilst still in power, casts a dark shadow across his starving and desperate people.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire the ongoing tragedy that is the steady cultural and social collapse of the Dis-United Kingdom is proceeding more slowly, affording us the luxury of sitting in judgement upon the misery of others.
On a day in which the dim interior of Nosher's dusty and cobwebbed shed seemed eminently more comfortable than enduring the cold squally showers outside, we sat in our old deckchairs with our thermos flasks of hot soup.
'You were wrong about Mugabe, laddie!' Nosher called out to me as we each poured ourselves a mug of hot glutinous liquid that smelled considerably better than Nosher's old wellington boots. 'A couple of weeks ago you said he was on the way out, now he's more determined to stay than ever!'
As you can see, Nosher takes great delight in pointing out my errors.
At his age pleasures are few and far between, and celebrating my mistakes obviously ranks high on his list of worthwhile entertainments.
Can't begrudge him that, though, mostly on the basis that he is almost always completely right in what he says.
'My only defence' I replied 'is that a couple of weeks ago it did look as if he was losing the support of his own party - but now they seem to have rallied and are intent on fixing the election results in his favour.'
'It is really astonishing' continued Nosher 'that a man pumped so full of embalming fluid can still function at all, let alone deliver long rambling speeches placing all the blame for his own failures at the hands of the British Government, which is what he did at Zimbabwe's Independence Day celebrations a couple of days ago.'
My hot vegetable soup tasted excellent, and it occurred to me that millions of ordinary Zimbabweans could only fantasise about such pleasures given that they live on the brink of starvation.
'The situation in Zimbabwe has certain parallels with our own' I ventured 'in that in this country too it is becoming almost impossible to publicise the truth such is the stranglehold of the government and the mass media upon the widespread dissemination of information. What is achieved at the end of a police truncheon in Zimbabwe is being attained here through much more subtle means, but the result is the same: we're being lied to, yet exposing the lie becomes ever more difficult because accurate and reliable information is becoming harder and harder to obtain. And the distinction between truth and falsity is often so cleverly obscured these days by clever media people that even when the truth is out it's not always possible to see it for what it is, because it's deliberately muddled up with other information designed to distract or mislead.'
Nosher sipped his soup and gazed out of the dusty, cobwebbed window for a while.
'Do you think anyone is injecting embalming fluid into Gordon the Moron?' he said 'for that might actually improve his performance as a politician!'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
This is now the situation in Zimbabwe, where the sinister figure of Robert Mugabe, the only world leader to be embalmed whilst still in power, casts a dark shadow across his starving and desperate people.
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire the ongoing tragedy that is the steady cultural and social collapse of the Dis-United Kingdom is proceeding more slowly, affording us the luxury of sitting in judgement upon the misery of others.
On a day in which the dim interior of Nosher's dusty and cobwebbed shed seemed eminently more comfortable than enduring the cold squally showers outside, we sat in our old deckchairs with our thermos flasks of hot soup.
'You were wrong about Mugabe, laddie!' Nosher called out to me as we each poured ourselves a mug of hot glutinous liquid that smelled considerably better than Nosher's old wellington boots. 'A couple of weeks ago you said he was on the way out, now he's more determined to stay than ever!'
As you can see, Nosher takes great delight in pointing out my errors.
At his age pleasures are few and far between, and celebrating my mistakes obviously ranks high on his list of worthwhile entertainments.
Can't begrudge him that, though, mostly on the basis that he is almost always completely right in what he says.
'My only defence' I replied 'is that a couple of weeks ago it did look as if he was losing the support of his own party - but now they seem to have rallied and are intent on fixing the election results in his favour.'
'It is really astonishing' continued Nosher 'that a man pumped so full of embalming fluid can still function at all, let alone deliver long rambling speeches placing all the blame for his own failures at the hands of the British Government, which is what he did at Zimbabwe's Independence Day celebrations a couple of days ago.'
My hot vegetable soup tasted excellent, and it occurred to me that millions of ordinary Zimbabweans could only fantasise about such pleasures given that they live on the brink of starvation.
'The situation in Zimbabwe has certain parallels with our own' I ventured 'in that in this country too it is becoming almost impossible to publicise the truth such is the stranglehold of the government and the mass media upon the widespread dissemination of information. What is achieved at the end of a police truncheon in Zimbabwe is being attained here through much more subtle means, but the result is the same: we're being lied to, yet exposing the lie becomes ever more difficult because accurate and reliable information is becoming harder and harder to obtain. And the distinction between truth and falsity is often so cleverly obscured these days by clever media people that even when the truth is out it's not always possible to see it for what it is, because it's deliberately muddled up with other information designed to distract or mislead.'
Nosher sipped his soup and gazed out of the dusty, cobwebbed window for a while.
'Do you think anyone is injecting embalming fluid into Gordon the Moron?' he said 'for that might actually improve his performance as a politician!'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Does Believing in God Make You Virtuous?
News that the Texas authorities have decided to DNA test all the women the children rescued recently from the clutches of a fundamentalist Mormon sect, following the arrest of the sect leader, yet again raises issues of the dangers of organised religion in exploiting the credulous, the vulnerable, the weak and morally lazy for the benefit of those who hold sway over them.
The failure of secular liberalism to address such issues is an indictment of its moral poverty, but down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom, an ensuing issue had occurred to Nosher and me that we considered just as important.
'What our society should teach children from the day they first attend school' Nosher declared 'is that claims of moral authority, belief and knowledge are not to be taken lightly, and should be treated with great caution.'
We were reclined in our old deck chairs in Nosher's shed, the weather having given way to scudding grey clouds and squally showers. Still, we'd got most of our seed potatoes into the ground during the morning, and now it was time to enjoy some hot soup and stimulating conversation.
'Unfortunately' I said 'religion appeals to a child-like desire to have everything our own way, and if inculcated into children at an early enough age is very difficult to dispel. Not that I'm anti-religious' I added as an afterthought.
Nosher raised an eyebrow.
'So if you're not anti-religious, what are you?'
'I have an open mind on the existence of God' I replied 'although the concept of supernatural deities does nothing at all for me personally. And I like to formulate my beliefs for myself, so being a member of a religion has no appeal at all. But I have no problem with people believing in God or being members of organised religions - if they are merely exercising their right to freedom of belief. What I object to is the religious indoctrination of children, which I consider to be a form of child abuse, and the use of organised religion to obtain powers and special privileges for religions, and their believers, over other non-religious people and groups in society.'
Nosher grunted seemingly in agreement. Then he said:
'That's all very well, but most organised religions claim to have a monopoly on wisdom, goodness and moral rectitude, and they promise pain and suffering to those who don't comply with their edicts, either in this world or the next, and that's a pretty powerful message to counter. Thus far in the history of secular liberalism, religions have in fact done pretty well, even they claim always to be under threat.'
'I think all that you have just said, Nosher, attests to the highly problematic nature of organised religion' I explained 'personal faith, as a state of mind, is a private issue, but organised religions are permanently engaged in a campaign to bolster the moral narcissism of their followers and this motivates them to believe that they deserve special privileges and if they don't get these privileges they feel victimised. It's all part of a psychological complex which readily lends itself to exclusivism and extremist attitudes.'
'I'm beginning to think' offered Nosher 'that religion has more to do with people feeling good about themselves and at the same time feeling insecure unless they can get as many people as possible to join them in their religion, or breed as many children as quickly as possible in order to obtain social influence and power through weight of numbers.'
For a while we gazed out through the dusty cobwebbed window onto our little agrarian world, the gusts of wind rippling the vegetation and battering against our little cloches which contained the vulnerable seedlings of this years' crops.
'It's all obscured through dogma, doctrine and ritual' I said 'so that believers feel comfortable in their little world of moral narcissism, and feel the cold chill of outside influences as a threat to their stability. And yet the entire edifice of organised religion is built upon the idea that the stronger your beliefs, and the more people there are who share them, the more secure God is in his kingdom. Logically speaking, it's errant nonsense, since if God exists, he (or she) exists independently of the belief of believers, or the numbers of them; and quite why an omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent God should require believers to worship him or her is totally beyond me. I think it has more to do with human ambition and frailty than anything else.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're not making much sense' looks.
'So you're not anti-religious?' he quipped, a smile playing on his lips.
'Not at all' I replied 'I'm against religion being used as a means of enslaving and exploiting people, as an excuse for ignorance, intolerance, hostility and violence, and, perhaps most significantly of all, as affording a technique whereby believers can deceive themselves that they are somehow better than everyone else simply because they believe and others do not. When religion possesses none of these characteristics then I'm all for it, however implausible I might find its cherished beliefs, because I believe that benign religions actually enhance the lives of their believers, and sometimes even the lives of those who do not share the same beliefs.'
Nosher sat for a while, gazing out of the window, then he turned to look at me.
'So do you believe that religion and faith have any necessary connection with moral goodness?' he asked.
'None whatsoever' I replied.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGS.Books.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
The failure of secular liberalism to address such issues is an indictment of its moral poverty, but down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom, an ensuing issue had occurred to Nosher and me that we considered just as important.
'What our society should teach children from the day they first attend school' Nosher declared 'is that claims of moral authority, belief and knowledge are not to be taken lightly, and should be treated with great caution.'
We were reclined in our old deck chairs in Nosher's shed, the weather having given way to scudding grey clouds and squally showers. Still, we'd got most of our seed potatoes into the ground during the morning, and now it was time to enjoy some hot soup and stimulating conversation.
'Unfortunately' I said 'religion appeals to a child-like desire to have everything our own way, and if inculcated into children at an early enough age is very difficult to dispel. Not that I'm anti-religious' I added as an afterthought.
Nosher raised an eyebrow.
'So if you're not anti-religious, what are you?'
'I have an open mind on the existence of God' I replied 'although the concept of supernatural deities does nothing at all for me personally. And I like to formulate my beliefs for myself, so being a member of a religion has no appeal at all. But I have no problem with people believing in God or being members of organised religions - if they are merely exercising their right to freedom of belief. What I object to is the religious indoctrination of children, which I consider to be a form of child abuse, and the use of organised religion to obtain powers and special privileges for religions, and their believers, over other non-religious people and groups in society.'
Nosher grunted seemingly in agreement. Then he said:
'That's all very well, but most organised religions claim to have a monopoly on wisdom, goodness and moral rectitude, and they promise pain and suffering to those who don't comply with their edicts, either in this world or the next, and that's a pretty powerful message to counter. Thus far in the history of secular liberalism, religions have in fact done pretty well, even they claim always to be under threat.'
'I think all that you have just said, Nosher, attests to the highly problematic nature of organised religion' I explained 'personal faith, as a state of mind, is a private issue, but organised religions are permanently engaged in a campaign to bolster the moral narcissism of their followers and this motivates them to believe that they deserve special privileges and if they don't get these privileges they feel victimised. It's all part of a psychological complex which readily lends itself to exclusivism and extremist attitudes.'
'I'm beginning to think' offered Nosher 'that religion has more to do with people feeling good about themselves and at the same time feeling insecure unless they can get as many people as possible to join them in their religion, or breed as many children as quickly as possible in order to obtain social influence and power through weight of numbers.'
For a while we gazed out through the dusty cobwebbed window onto our little agrarian world, the gusts of wind rippling the vegetation and battering against our little cloches which contained the vulnerable seedlings of this years' crops.
'It's all obscured through dogma, doctrine and ritual' I said 'so that believers feel comfortable in their little world of moral narcissism, and feel the cold chill of outside influences as a threat to their stability. And yet the entire edifice of organised religion is built upon the idea that the stronger your beliefs, and the more people there are who share them, the more secure God is in his kingdom. Logically speaking, it's errant nonsense, since if God exists, he (or she) exists independently of the belief of believers, or the numbers of them; and quite why an omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent God should require believers to worship him or her is totally beyond me. I think it has more to do with human ambition and frailty than anything else.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're not making much sense' looks.
'So you're not anti-religious?' he quipped, a smile playing on his lips.
'Not at all' I replied 'I'm against religion being used as a means of enslaving and exploiting people, as an excuse for ignorance, intolerance, hostility and violence, and, perhaps most significantly of all, as affording a technique whereby believers can deceive themselves that they are somehow better than everyone else simply because they believe and others do not. When religion possesses none of these characteristics then I'm all for it, however implausible I might find its cherished beliefs, because I believe that benign religions actually enhance the lives of their believers, and sometimes even the lives of those who do not share the same beliefs.'
Nosher sat for a while, gazing out of the window, then he turned to look at me.
'So do you believe that religion and faith have any necessary connection with moral goodness?' he asked.
'None whatsoever' I replied.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGS.Books.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Our Culture's Going Down the Plug-Hole
Here in the good old Dis-United Kingdom, where the superficial now reigns supreme and the substance has long since evaporated, three things have happened recently that demonstrate the depths of cultural decay to which we have now descended.
On our small allotment in South Gloucestershire - which is, unhappily, not immune to the cultural decay taking place all over the country - Nosher and I have been discussing the latest events in this sorry saga.
'A teacher who felt hounded out of his job by loutish pupils shouting abuse at him because of his baldness has lost his case at the High Court' Nosher said as we poured hot soup from our thermos flasks.
It was a sunny day, but with a bitterly cold wind, and we'd retreated into Nosher's shed, were our old deckchairs provided a little comfort amongst the spider's webs and dusty shelves lined with old seed packets.
'Apparently the judge did not consider baldness to be a disability' Nosher continued 'but went on to say that if the teacher had been gay he'd have won his case. What kind of justice is that?'
'It's actually a disguised form of injustice' I replied 'because the real issue is why and how the conduct of the loutish pupils was allowed to proceed for so long without effective sanctions being taken against them, so that the teacher felt obliged to seek redress in the courts under a law designed to punish discrimination which, unfortunately, does not include bald people.'
'So the message that has gone out to all the loutish pupils in our schools is that they can get away with disrespectful behaviour and harass teachers with impunity' said Nosher 'one wonders why any sane person would want to teach in our schools.'
We sipped our soup in silence for a few moments.
'Then there is the case of that yob who blew his nose on his hand and then wiped the slimy result on the back of Dave 'The People's Toff' Cameron during a walkabout' I said 'even when apprehended by a PCSO the little lout was smirking and sniggering, clearly not bothered at all by the possible consequences. Apparently the yob's mother, when told of the incident, told reporters that he was a nice boy. If a yob can get away with this sort of behaviour in front of the media, when his victim was the leader of the official opposition in this country, what do the idiots who lead us think yobs are getting away with in respect of their conduct to us ordinary citizens? The answer is that they are terrorising the ordinary decent people of this country, who know there is no legal redress because our so-called justice system does not support the ordinary decent citizen any more.'
Nosher nodded.
'I regret to have to admit that you're right' he said 'and when an ordinary decent citizen is set upon by the thugs who roam our streets with impunity, and dares to lift a finger in self-defence, the public perception nowadays appears to be that the police and CPS are more likely to spend their time seeking a way of prosecuting the victim while clever defence lawyers are looking for excuses to get the offender off. That's the moral sewer we now have to live in.'
'And finally' I continued ' there's the sight of our great leader, Gordon the Moron, sycophantically toadying up to the Americans. He has had meetings in Washington with McCain, Obama, and Clinton, and finally met George W. Bush and held a news conference on the White House lawn. Brown's visit was almost universally ignored by the American news media, but he did manage to get on one TV breakfast show, smiling his mechanical smile and thanking the Americans for their contribution to culture. Big Macs and cola? Mind-boggling! This is the behaviour of a man who knows he is a nonentity, and yet so desparately wants to be hailed as a world statesman. And when at the news conference Gordon the Moron went on about Britain having a 'special relationship' with the US it was enough to make me want to vomit. The simple fact is that the UK is now America's little poodle - no wonder Bush looked happy to confirm this "special relationship"!'
'I guess the only person who doesn't realise what an idiot he is is Gordon the Moron himself' said Nosher 'but then he thinks he's on a mission to save the world, although I fear it will be at our expense.'
'It's already at our expense!' I retorted 'without all this nonsense about Britain "punching above her weight" (which all the main parties go on about) we would be living with very low taxes and much better services to the ordinary people of this country. And we might be able to do something to save our once great English (and British) culture from disappearing down the plug-hole.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're so stupid' looks.
'Too late, it's already in the sewer' he said.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop- if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
On our small allotment in South Gloucestershire - which is, unhappily, not immune to the cultural decay taking place all over the country - Nosher and I have been discussing the latest events in this sorry saga.
'A teacher who felt hounded out of his job by loutish pupils shouting abuse at him because of his baldness has lost his case at the High Court' Nosher said as we poured hot soup from our thermos flasks.
It was a sunny day, but with a bitterly cold wind, and we'd retreated into Nosher's shed, were our old deckchairs provided a little comfort amongst the spider's webs and dusty shelves lined with old seed packets.
'Apparently the judge did not consider baldness to be a disability' Nosher continued 'but went on to say that if the teacher had been gay he'd have won his case. What kind of justice is that?'
'It's actually a disguised form of injustice' I replied 'because the real issue is why and how the conduct of the loutish pupils was allowed to proceed for so long without effective sanctions being taken against them, so that the teacher felt obliged to seek redress in the courts under a law designed to punish discrimination which, unfortunately, does not include bald people.'
'So the message that has gone out to all the loutish pupils in our schools is that they can get away with disrespectful behaviour and harass teachers with impunity' said Nosher 'one wonders why any sane person would want to teach in our schools.'
We sipped our soup in silence for a few moments.
'Then there is the case of that yob who blew his nose on his hand and then wiped the slimy result on the back of Dave 'The People's Toff' Cameron during a walkabout' I said 'even when apprehended by a PCSO the little lout was smirking and sniggering, clearly not bothered at all by the possible consequences. Apparently the yob's mother, when told of the incident, told reporters that he was a nice boy. If a yob can get away with this sort of behaviour in front of the media, when his victim was the leader of the official opposition in this country, what do the idiots who lead us think yobs are getting away with in respect of their conduct to us ordinary citizens? The answer is that they are terrorising the ordinary decent people of this country, who know there is no legal redress because our so-called justice system does not support the ordinary decent citizen any more.'
Nosher nodded.
'I regret to have to admit that you're right' he said 'and when an ordinary decent citizen is set upon by the thugs who roam our streets with impunity, and dares to lift a finger in self-defence, the public perception nowadays appears to be that the police and CPS are more likely to spend their time seeking a way of prosecuting the victim while clever defence lawyers are looking for excuses to get the offender off. That's the moral sewer we now have to live in.'
'And finally' I continued ' there's the sight of our great leader, Gordon the Moron, sycophantically toadying up to the Americans. He has had meetings in Washington with McCain, Obama, and Clinton, and finally met George W. Bush and held a news conference on the White House lawn. Brown's visit was almost universally ignored by the American news media, but he did manage to get on one TV breakfast show, smiling his mechanical smile and thanking the Americans for their contribution to culture. Big Macs and cola? Mind-boggling! This is the behaviour of a man who knows he is a nonentity, and yet so desparately wants to be hailed as a world statesman. And when at the news conference Gordon the Moron went on about Britain having a 'special relationship' with the US it was enough to make me want to vomit. The simple fact is that the UK is now America's little poodle - no wonder Bush looked happy to confirm this "special relationship"!'
'I guess the only person who doesn't realise what an idiot he is is Gordon the Moron himself' said Nosher 'but then he thinks he's on a mission to save the world, although I fear it will be at our expense.'
'It's already at our expense!' I retorted 'without all this nonsense about Britain "punching above her weight" (which all the main parties go on about) we would be living with very low taxes and much better services to the ordinary people of this country. And we might be able to do something to save our once great English (and British) culture from disappearing down the plug-hole.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're so stupid' looks.
'Too late, it's already in the sewer' he said.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop- if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
The National Institute for Cynical Expedience
The good old Dis-United Kingdom is a place where how long you live and how miserably you die is determined by where you live and which politicians and bureaucrats hold power over you.
If you are lucky enough to live in a place where enlightenment and compassion reign, you will receive the best treatments available for your condition.
Whereas if you are unlucky and live in a place where budgets are more important than people your life will be shorter and considerably more miserable.
There is one Government organisation, amongst so many, that has succeeded in attracting a remarkable reputation for making decisions that render the lives of its victims shorter and more miserable: NICE - the National Institute for Clinical Excellence, or, as Nosher prefers to call it, the National Institute for Cynical Expedience.
Just why this should be the case was an issue that came up in conversation shortly after Nosher had taken a delivery of some old Daily Mails for his compost heap.
'How can anyone justify denying treatment for macular degeneration until a person has already lost one eye to the disease?' Nosher sounded outraged.
I was helping him fork over his compost heap, adding assorted bits of Daily Mail as we went.
'This is happening when the NHS bill for Viagra is skyrocketing' I replied 'men who find it inconvenient not being able to perform like a stallion at stud are considered more deserving then elderly people faced with the prospect of losing their sight completely - because treatment on the one remaining eye is not always successful.'
'Then there's that drug for early breast cancer' Nosher went on 'it's being denied to patients until their cancer is already so advanced the drug is actually less effective - but it will mean the patient is likely to die earlier and be less of a drain on the NHS. How can that be viewed as anything other than cynical expedience?'
'It's actually worse than that' I said 'because Gordon the Moron's Minister for Disease and Ill-Health has stopped patients from topping up their treatment by paying for these drugs themselves whilst receiving NHS treatment. He claims in his idiocy that it would create two-tier health service - so such patients often have to sell their houses to pay for private healthcare.'
Nosher plunged his fork into the compost with great force, and exclaimed:
'Two tier health service! These people who rule over us are morons! We already have a two tier health service: the first tier is composed of those who, like us, look after ourselves, eat healthily and take regular exercise, and thus make very few demands of the NHS unless we're very unlucky, whilst the second tier is composed of those culpable idiots who insist on eating junk food, take no exercise and lead lives full of foolish risk-taking. The latter group consume a disproportionate amount of NHS recourses, leaving very little left for those who live responsible lives, whose care ends up being rationed.'
Nosher almost growled with indignation as he turned over another great pile of compost.
'And then' I said 'there's the Altzheimer's situation, where a perfectly good drug that delays the onset of early symptoms has been barred by NICE for use until the patient is ill enough to almost require admission to a care home, when suddenly it is made available, delaying admission into care but too late to make much difference to the patient's quality of life. This really is a case of cynical expedience, because patients who are given the drug very early on live much longer, have a much better quality of life, but, unfortunately for the Government, are also likely to linger longer once eventually admitted to a care home. The rationale for denying early treatement is totally obvious - and cynically cruel.'
We stood for a while admiring the havoc we had wreaked upon the old Daily Mails, now shredded into tatters and mixed up with freshly-turned compost.
'I'm sure the men and women who make these decisions at NICE are pefectly decent people' I continued 'but their terms of reference are set by the Government specifically on the basis of some carefully obscured notion of cost-effectiveness, rather than clinical excellence, so NICE is actually misnamed. And anyway, in all the three cases we've mentioned, scientific opinon is divided over the defensibility of NICE's decisions, so it can't be as cut and dried as NICE likes to claim. In effect, NICE is the Government's poodle to disguise the fact that health care is now strictly rationed in this country and people are suffering and dying because the resources aren't being made available to treat them properly. That, ultimately, is a political responsibility, not a medical one. All NICE achieves it to disguise the fact that the cynical and idiotic politicians who rule over us are not allocating enough money to spend on making proven treatments available to those who would most benefit from them.'
'Like I say' said Nosher 'The National Institute for Cynical Expedience is a far better description of what NICE stands for. I don't know how the people who work for it can sleep at night.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more from http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
If you are lucky enough to live in a place where enlightenment and compassion reign, you will receive the best treatments available for your condition.
Whereas if you are unlucky and live in a place where budgets are more important than people your life will be shorter and considerably more miserable.
There is one Government organisation, amongst so many, that has succeeded in attracting a remarkable reputation for making decisions that render the lives of its victims shorter and more miserable: NICE - the National Institute for Clinical Excellence, or, as Nosher prefers to call it, the National Institute for Cynical Expedience.
Just why this should be the case was an issue that came up in conversation shortly after Nosher had taken a delivery of some old Daily Mails for his compost heap.
'How can anyone justify denying treatment for macular degeneration until a person has already lost one eye to the disease?' Nosher sounded outraged.
I was helping him fork over his compost heap, adding assorted bits of Daily Mail as we went.
'This is happening when the NHS bill for Viagra is skyrocketing' I replied 'men who find it inconvenient not being able to perform like a stallion at stud are considered more deserving then elderly people faced with the prospect of losing their sight completely - because treatment on the one remaining eye is not always successful.'
'Then there's that drug for early breast cancer' Nosher went on 'it's being denied to patients until their cancer is already so advanced the drug is actually less effective - but it will mean the patient is likely to die earlier and be less of a drain on the NHS. How can that be viewed as anything other than cynical expedience?'
'It's actually worse than that' I said 'because Gordon the Moron's Minister for Disease and Ill-Health has stopped patients from topping up their treatment by paying for these drugs themselves whilst receiving NHS treatment. He claims in his idiocy that it would create two-tier health service - so such patients often have to sell their houses to pay for private healthcare.'
Nosher plunged his fork into the compost with great force, and exclaimed:
'Two tier health service! These people who rule over us are morons! We already have a two tier health service: the first tier is composed of those who, like us, look after ourselves, eat healthily and take regular exercise, and thus make very few demands of the NHS unless we're very unlucky, whilst the second tier is composed of those culpable idiots who insist on eating junk food, take no exercise and lead lives full of foolish risk-taking. The latter group consume a disproportionate amount of NHS recourses, leaving very little left for those who live responsible lives, whose care ends up being rationed.'
Nosher almost growled with indignation as he turned over another great pile of compost.
'And then' I said 'there's the Altzheimer's situation, where a perfectly good drug that delays the onset of early symptoms has been barred by NICE for use until the patient is ill enough to almost require admission to a care home, when suddenly it is made available, delaying admission into care but too late to make much difference to the patient's quality of life. This really is a case of cynical expedience, because patients who are given the drug very early on live much longer, have a much better quality of life, but, unfortunately for the Government, are also likely to linger longer once eventually admitted to a care home. The rationale for denying early treatement is totally obvious - and cynically cruel.'
We stood for a while admiring the havoc we had wreaked upon the old Daily Mails, now shredded into tatters and mixed up with freshly-turned compost.
'I'm sure the men and women who make these decisions at NICE are pefectly decent people' I continued 'but their terms of reference are set by the Government specifically on the basis of some carefully obscured notion of cost-effectiveness, rather than clinical excellence, so NICE is actually misnamed. And anyway, in all the three cases we've mentioned, scientific opinon is divided over the defensibility of NICE's decisions, so it can't be as cut and dried as NICE likes to claim. In effect, NICE is the Government's poodle to disguise the fact that health care is now strictly rationed in this country and people are suffering and dying because the resources aren't being made available to treat them properly. That, ultimately, is a political responsibility, not a medical one. All NICE achieves it to disguise the fact that the cynical and idiotic politicians who rule over us are not allocating enough money to spend on making proven treatments available to those who would most benefit from them.'
'Like I say' said Nosher 'The National Institute for Cynical Expedience is a far better description of what NICE stands for. I don't know how the people who work for it can sleep at night.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more from http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The Idea of a Moral Economy
The weather in our little part of South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom has settled down to a pattern of early frosts and bright sunshine, with almost clear blue skies all day. The air quickly warms up as the day goes on and it's a pleasure to spend time down on the little allotment clearing the ground and planting out.
By mid-afternoon it's time to settle into our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed and discuss whatever takes our interest.
'I've been thinking' I said, taking a sip of parsnip wine.
'Careful!' Nosher cut in 'that kind of thing can get you into trouble in Gordon the Moron's new Politically Correct Police State.'
'I think we're fairly safe down here on the allotment' I replied 'unless the birds listening to us are actually tiny remote-controlled spy planes.'
'Gordon the Moron's too penny-pinching to give his secret police expensive gadgets like that' Nosher remarked 'and even if they did have them, I think there's more interesting targets than a couple of old men down on their allotment. So what were you thinking about?'
'It's about what you said about there being morally inadequate people' I explained 'what children should be taught in schools, from the earliest possible opportunity, and reminded of throughout their school careers, is that society is actually a moral economy, in which each person contributes good things and bad things. A morally good society is one in which the good outweighs the bad, and a morally bad society is the opposite.'
Nosher stared at me for a moment, as if weighing up my proposal. Then he said:
'Yesterday you said that morality was a dead duck in our society - so how are you going to get people interested in the idea of a moral economy?'
'By offering them a new concept of morality which is about fundamental values that underpin a fulfilling, productive and socially-constructive life' I explained. 'Under this view, morality is not about absolute conceptions of right and wrong, but about what values support a morally healthy society in which each person has a role in supporting the moral economy, so that good outweighs bad and we can together build a better world and make ourselves into better people. Under this conception of morality, the notion of fundamental human rights is sustained by the moral value we place upon the wellbeing of each and every human being and his or her right to dignity and proper care and consideration from others and from society as a whole.'
We sat in silence for a while, listening to the birds singing in the trees. Then Nosher announced:
'Well, apart from changing the name from social ethics to morality, I can't see what difference you're making.'
'There's a big difference' I said. 'The pseudo-liberal elite who now dominate society have spent decades rubbishing the idea of morality' I said 'and substituted social ethics, in which the values promoted are presented as being culturally-neutral and at the same time largely non-challenging to all the different cultures that make up modern English society. What I'm suggesting is that liberal secular culture actually takes a stand on a set of values and a moral perspective that is not only highly distinctive, but which does challenge many specific cultural conceptions of what values characterise a good or bad person, or a good or bad society.'
Nosher listened attentively, then looked into the distance, pursed his lips, then took a sip of parsnip wine. Then he turned to look me in the eye.
'So are you saying that the idea of a moral economy demands of its participants that whatever bad they've suffered is no excuse to inflict bad things on other people?'
Sometimes Nosher really surprises me, showing more insight into such issues than Gordon the Moron and all his Assistants in Idiocy, not to mention the wishy-washy pseudo-liberal elite who have made greed, selfishness and hypocrisy so highly respectable, as well as making the most desirable status in society that of the victim-role in which an individual can make endless demands but contribute nothing to society in return.
'If we were able to convince people that what makes life worth living is not greed and selfishness, nor status, privilege, prestige or power' I said 'but instead is about being a good person and contributing good to society, and at the same time convince our leaders that they have a duty of care that transcends the duty of care they have as individuals, then we might really be on the threshold of building a morally better society, instead of the miserable mockery of a compassionate liberal secular society we endure at present, in which so many expect to take far more than they actually give.'
'Well, I don't think you'll find many converts in the City of London or in the nation's prisons' Nosher declared 'but I think your idea is worth thinking through' Nosher said 'let's talk about it some more another time.'
And so we sat back in our old deckchairs and enjoyed the warm sunshine, and sipped Nosher's excellent parsnip wine, and the world seemed a better place already.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.pausturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
By mid-afternoon it's time to settle into our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed and discuss whatever takes our interest.
'I've been thinking' I said, taking a sip of parsnip wine.
'Careful!' Nosher cut in 'that kind of thing can get you into trouble in Gordon the Moron's new Politically Correct Police State.'
'I think we're fairly safe down here on the allotment' I replied 'unless the birds listening to us are actually tiny remote-controlled spy planes.'
'Gordon the Moron's too penny-pinching to give his secret police expensive gadgets like that' Nosher remarked 'and even if they did have them, I think there's more interesting targets than a couple of old men down on their allotment. So what were you thinking about?'
'It's about what you said about there being morally inadequate people' I explained 'what children should be taught in schools, from the earliest possible opportunity, and reminded of throughout their school careers, is that society is actually a moral economy, in which each person contributes good things and bad things. A morally good society is one in which the good outweighs the bad, and a morally bad society is the opposite.'
Nosher stared at me for a moment, as if weighing up my proposal. Then he said:
'Yesterday you said that morality was a dead duck in our society - so how are you going to get people interested in the idea of a moral economy?'
'By offering them a new concept of morality which is about fundamental values that underpin a fulfilling, productive and socially-constructive life' I explained. 'Under this view, morality is not about absolute conceptions of right and wrong, but about what values support a morally healthy society in which each person has a role in supporting the moral economy, so that good outweighs bad and we can together build a better world and make ourselves into better people. Under this conception of morality, the notion of fundamental human rights is sustained by the moral value we place upon the wellbeing of each and every human being and his or her right to dignity and proper care and consideration from others and from society as a whole.'
We sat in silence for a while, listening to the birds singing in the trees. Then Nosher announced:
'Well, apart from changing the name from social ethics to morality, I can't see what difference you're making.'
'There's a big difference' I said. 'The pseudo-liberal elite who now dominate society have spent decades rubbishing the idea of morality' I said 'and substituted social ethics, in which the values promoted are presented as being culturally-neutral and at the same time largely non-challenging to all the different cultures that make up modern English society. What I'm suggesting is that liberal secular culture actually takes a stand on a set of values and a moral perspective that is not only highly distinctive, but which does challenge many specific cultural conceptions of what values characterise a good or bad person, or a good or bad society.'
Nosher listened attentively, then looked into the distance, pursed his lips, then took a sip of parsnip wine. Then he turned to look me in the eye.
'So are you saying that the idea of a moral economy demands of its participants that whatever bad they've suffered is no excuse to inflict bad things on other people?'
Sometimes Nosher really surprises me, showing more insight into such issues than Gordon the Moron and all his Assistants in Idiocy, not to mention the wishy-washy pseudo-liberal elite who have made greed, selfishness and hypocrisy so highly respectable, as well as making the most desirable status in society that of the victim-role in which an individual can make endless demands but contribute nothing to society in return.
'If we were able to convince people that what makes life worth living is not greed and selfishness, nor status, privilege, prestige or power' I said 'but instead is about being a good person and contributing good to society, and at the same time convince our leaders that they have a duty of care that transcends the duty of care they have as individuals, then we might really be on the threshold of building a morally better society, instead of the miserable mockery of a compassionate liberal secular society we endure at present, in which so many expect to take far more than they actually give.'
'Well, I don't think you'll find many converts in the City of London or in the nation's prisons' Nosher declared 'but I think your idea is worth thinking through' Nosher said 'let's talk about it some more another time.'
And so we sat back in our old deckchairs and enjoyed the warm sunshine, and sipped Nosher's excellent parsnip wine, and the world seemed a better place already.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.pausturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Addicted to Addictions
'We have become a society addicted to addictions' declared Nosher as we walked towards his allotment shed one fine afternoon. We had been hoeing our respective strawberry patches, and it was time to relax on our old deckchairs and enjoy the sunshine.
'Do you mean obsessed with addictions?' I inquired. I was glad to accept the proffered wine glass, as Nosher's opening gambit implied the need for reflection.
'It depends on how you define addiction' Nosher replied as he poured us each a glass of his excellent parsnip wine. 'Now that addictions of all sorts have been medicalised, any behaviour that a person feels strongly compelled to repeat, but feels powerless to resist the urge to do so, seems to be called an addiction.'
'Is this about the addiction-therapy business, or the human condition of the addicts themselves?' I asked, already feeling things were getting a little complicated.
'In a way it's about it all' said Nosher 'but primarily it's about the fact that any person who feels compelled to repeat behaviour that is self-destructive can now claim to be a victim of forces outside their control, and medical science and the addiction-therapy business colludes in this by teaching them that they have a physical and/or pyschological problem, whereas the main issue is that they made wrong choices that they don't like the consequences of, yet don't appear to have the moral resources to accept responsibility for what they've done, to learn from their mistakes and change their behaviour. It's easier to blame society and/or their physiology, and/or their emotional problems.'
We sat for a few moments enjoying the sunshine and gazing upon our freshly-weeded strawberry patches.
'Have you been reading medical textbooks again, Nosher?' I inquired.
'Amongst other things' he replied 'but mainly I keep my eyes open and look around. And what I see is as society addicted to addictions.'
'So you don't believe that addiction is a genuine disease?' I said. Nosher looked around as if consulting his surroundings for inspiration.
'Medically speaking' he said after a pause 'disease and illness are characterised in terms of disturbance of function, which presupposes that whatever constitutes normal function is well understood.'
'So are you saying that addiction isn't well understood?'
'Addiction appears to be a complex process involving a number of complex factors, and disturbance of normal function is only one, and sometimes a very minor, aspect of the whole scenario.'
'So you're saying that it isn't a disease?'
'Not in the sense that hepatitis or cholera are diseases' Nosher explained. 'In addiction any disturbance of physiological function appears to arise as a result of addictive behaviour, not as the cause of it.'
'So to call addiction a disease or illness is misleading?'
'Exactly!' there was a hint of triumphalism in Nosher's voice 'addiction appears to have much more to do with individuals desiring a pleasurable release from an otherwise empty or bothersome life, and they then cling to this source of release even when it is destroying their lives, instead of finding a more constructive solution to their problems.'
We heard a Green woodpecker laughing in the trees over on the edge of our little allotment. It seemed to be laughing at us. Then a question occurred to me.
'So the medical approach to treating addictions, and the addiction therapy business, which is very well funded by the State, has a vested interest in convincing people they're ill and require expert treatment, thus locking them into a cycle of dependency?'
'That's exactly what I'm saying' Nosher confirmed. 'Addiction would better be seen as a failure of an individual's capacity to manage their own self-valuing, as a failure of moral resources in society, and dealt with by teaching children how to value themselves and how to maintain a healthy positive evaluation of themselves through constructive and productive means.'
This reminded me of something I'd read recently.
'It's interesting that only the most troublesome cases of addiction are ever treated by the experts' I said 'because the vast majority of people who confess to having an addiction at one time or another spontaneously resolve the problem themselves.'
'Which means' Nosher added 'that addiction isn't a true disease, because it can be overcome if individuals have the moral capacity to take responsibility for their lives, and the courage to face up to the problems they've caused. It may be uncomfortable, but discomfort has not yet been categorised as a medical condition so far as I know.'
This remark was accompanied by another outbreak of laughter from the Green woodpecker up in the trees. This time I was sure it was laughing at us.
'But surely some cases of severe addiction do require expert help?' I said 'especially in cases of alcohol or drug withdrawal?'
'That's not at issue' Nosher replied 'the issue here is the extent to which addiction should be seen primarily as a problem of individual self-valuing and moral adequacy, so that as a society we insist that addicts acknowledge and accept what they really are: morally inadequate individuals who refuse to take responsibility for responding constructively to their circumstances. Only when they accept that can they take the first steps towards changing their moral outlook on life so that in the future they don't feel driven to seek solace or excitement in self-destructive habits.'
At this the Green woodpecker flew off, laughing insanely to itself, as if the very prospect of moral reform was a ridiculous fantasy.
'Somehow I can't see this idea catching on' I said 'primarily because it requires that society itself is reformed - in other words our social and cultural values would have to incorporate the idea of moral reform. At present the very notion of morality induces large swathes of the morally inadequate (at all levels of society) to smirk with derision at the very idea of creating a better society with better people in it.'
'Sad, but true' was Nosher's response.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop- if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
'Do you mean obsessed with addictions?' I inquired. I was glad to accept the proffered wine glass, as Nosher's opening gambit implied the need for reflection.
'It depends on how you define addiction' Nosher replied as he poured us each a glass of his excellent parsnip wine. 'Now that addictions of all sorts have been medicalised, any behaviour that a person feels strongly compelled to repeat, but feels powerless to resist the urge to do so, seems to be called an addiction.'
'Is this about the addiction-therapy business, or the human condition of the addicts themselves?' I asked, already feeling things were getting a little complicated.
'In a way it's about it all' said Nosher 'but primarily it's about the fact that any person who feels compelled to repeat behaviour that is self-destructive can now claim to be a victim of forces outside their control, and medical science and the addiction-therapy business colludes in this by teaching them that they have a physical and/or pyschological problem, whereas the main issue is that they made wrong choices that they don't like the consequences of, yet don't appear to have the moral resources to accept responsibility for what they've done, to learn from their mistakes and change their behaviour. It's easier to blame society and/or their physiology, and/or their emotional problems.'
We sat for a few moments enjoying the sunshine and gazing upon our freshly-weeded strawberry patches.
'Have you been reading medical textbooks again, Nosher?' I inquired.
'Amongst other things' he replied 'but mainly I keep my eyes open and look around. And what I see is as society addicted to addictions.'
'So you don't believe that addiction is a genuine disease?' I said. Nosher looked around as if consulting his surroundings for inspiration.
'Medically speaking' he said after a pause 'disease and illness are characterised in terms of disturbance of function, which presupposes that whatever constitutes normal function is well understood.'
'So are you saying that addiction isn't well understood?'
'Addiction appears to be a complex process involving a number of complex factors, and disturbance of normal function is only one, and sometimes a very minor, aspect of the whole scenario.'
'So you're saying that it isn't a disease?'
'Not in the sense that hepatitis or cholera are diseases' Nosher explained. 'In addiction any disturbance of physiological function appears to arise as a result of addictive behaviour, not as the cause of it.'
'So to call addiction a disease or illness is misleading?'
'Exactly!' there was a hint of triumphalism in Nosher's voice 'addiction appears to have much more to do with individuals desiring a pleasurable release from an otherwise empty or bothersome life, and they then cling to this source of release even when it is destroying their lives, instead of finding a more constructive solution to their problems.'
We heard a Green woodpecker laughing in the trees over on the edge of our little allotment. It seemed to be laughing at us. Then a question occurred to me.
'So the medical approach to treating addictions, and the addiction therapy business, which is very well funded by the State, has a vested interest in convincing people they're ill and require expert treatment, thus locking them into a cycle of dependency?'
'That's exactly what I'm saying' Nosher confirmed. 'Addiction would better be seen as a failure of an individual's capacity to manage their own self-valuing, as a failure of moral resources in society, and dealt with by teaching children how to value themselves and how to maintain a healthy positive evaluation of themselves through constructive and productive means.'
This reminded me of something I'd read recently.
'It's interesting that only the most troublesome cases of addiction are ever treated by the experts' I said 'because the vast majority of people who confess to having an addiction at one time or another spontaneously resolve the problem themselves.'
'Which means' Nosher added 'that addiction isn't a true disease, because it can be overcome if individuals have the moral capacity to take responsibility for their lives, and the courage to face up to the problems they've caused. It may be uncomfortable, but discomfort has not yet been categorised as a medical condition so far as I know.'
This remark was accompanied by another outbreak of laughter from the Green woodpecker up in the trees. This time I was sure it was laughing at us.
'But surely some cases of severe addiction do require expert help?' I said 'especially in cases of alcohol or drug withdrawal?'
'That's not at issue' Nosher replied 'the issue here is the extent to which addiction should be seen primarily as a problem of individual self-valuing and moral adequacy, so that as a society we insist that addicts acknowledge and accept what they really are: morally inadequate individuals who refuse to take responsibility for responding constructively to their circumstances. Only when they accept that can they take the first steps towards changing their moral outlook on life so that in the future they don't feel driven to seek solace or excitement in self-destructive habits.'
At this the Green woodpecker flew off, laughing insanely to itself, as if the very prospect of moral reform was a ridiculous fantasy.
'Somehow I can't see this idea catching on' I said 'primarily because it requires that society itself is reformed - in other words our social and cultural values would have to incorporate the idea of moral reform. At present the very notion of morality induces large swathes of the morally inadequate (at all levels of society) to smirk with derision at the very idea of creating a better society with better people in it.'
'Sad, but true' was Nosher's response.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop- if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Gordon the Moron's Allotment AGM
The prospect of democratic elections always bring out the more slimy, creepy and manipulative aspects of those wishing to get themselves elected, or merely to make themselves more popular.
Sometimes it doesn't even take the prospect of elections to achieve this, merely a drop in opinion poll ratings.
Thus it is with our great leader in the Dis-United Kingdom, Gordon the Moron.
At a time when his popularity is at an all-time low, he has appointed more merchant bankers, marketing experts and PR people as his advisers, thus demonstrating, if any further demonstration were needed, where his real priorities lie.
But following their advice has only made Gordon the Moron appear more inadequate and insecure than ever.
Over the past weekend he has appeared on an American TV celebrity charity talent show, grinning like a Cheshire cat and wishing 'May God Bless you all' to his American audience.
Talk about slimy and ingratiating.
Then he did a spot on English TV praising the efforts of our best-known children's author for her support of the refugees in Darfur, again grinning like a Cheshire cat and looking for all the world as if he was leaving a trail of ingratiating slime behind him.
Creepy.
Refugees don't need this kind of support - it's enough to make them choke on their UN food rations.
'For a dour Scot who's only smiled three times since he had wind as a baby' opined Nosher 'Gordon the Moron appears to have gone into turbo-boosted smile mode. His PR people must have told him that political leaders who look like asinine fools do better in the opinion polls'.
We were sitting in our old deckshairs outside Nosher's allotment shed, drinking parsnip wine in the warm afternoon sun.
As is so often the case, it seems that events in the real world mirror the goings-on in our little allotment world.
'It reminds me' I said 'of our recent Allotment Committee AGM, when our Chairman, another Gordon the Moron, tried so hard to ingratiate himself with everyone that he almost disappeared up his own backside.'
Nosher looked across at me, frowning.
'Can anyone be as bad as the real Gordon the Moron?' his question was tentative, as if not wishing to learn the truth.
'Oh, yes' I said 'they are two of a kind. After all, our own Gordon the Moron has put our little allotment's finances in hock by borrowing against future subscriptions, thus necessitating a rise in subscriptions because we haven't attracted any new members. The real Gordon the Moron is no better - he's heavily mortgaged the future of the entire country at a time when we're facing a recession.'
'Still, our own Gordon the Moron did manage to get himself re-elected at our recent AGM, more's the pity' said Nosher. 'Some fools still believe in him.'
We consoled ourselves with more of Nosher's excellent home-made parsnip wine, and gazed upon the sun-bathed scene that lay before us.
'I think we'll have a good crop this year' Nosher announced, indicating his neat rows of runner beans growing up their canes. I had other things on my mind.
'What is it about people who consider themselves natural leaders that turns them into self-deceiving, manipulative creeps?' I asked, not really expecting an outpouring of wisdom from Nosher.
It's a question I ask myself time and time again, and I'm still working on the answer.
Nosher, however, had an answer ready, it seemed, for he launched into an explanation that took me by surprise.
'It's the result of blind ambition, blind faith in their own abilities, and a mixture of ruthlessness and self-deceit, which enables them to convince themselves that their own narcissistic desire for status, prestige, privilege and power is in the best interests of those upon whom they impose their hubris, incompetence and stupidity' declared Nosher confidently, and all in one great rush of breath.
'Gosh, what on earth have you been reading?' I asked.
'Your own book, you idiot!' said Nosher 'can't you remember what you wrote in it?'
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
And www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Sometimes it doesn't even take the prospect of elections to achieve this, merely a drop in opinion poll ratings.
Thus it is with our great leader in the Dis-United Kingdom, Gordon the Moron.
At a time when his popularity is at an all-time low, he has appointed more merchant bankers, marketing experts and PR people as his advisers, thus demonstrating, if any further demonstration were needed, where his real priorities lie.
But following their advice has only made Gordon the Moron appear more inadequate and insecure than ever.
Over the past weekend he has appeared on an American TV celebrity charity talent show, grinning like a Cheshire cat and wishing 'May God Bless you all' to his American audience.
Talk about slimy and ingratiating.
Then he did a spot on English TV praising the efforts of our best-known children's author for her support of the refugees in Darfur, again grinning like a Cheshire cat and looking for all the world as if he was leaving a trail of ingratiating slime behind him.
Creepy.
Refugees don't need this kind of support - it's enough to make them choke on their UN food rations.
'For a dour Scot who's only smiled three times since he had wind as a baby' opined Nosher 'Gordon the Moron appears to have gone into turbo-boosted smile mode. His PR people must have told him that political leaders who look like asinine fools do better in the opinion polls'.
We were sitting in our old deckshairs outside Nosher's allotment shed, drinking parsnip wine in the warm afternoon sun.
As is so often the case, it seems that events in the real world mirror the goings-on in our little allotment world.
'It reminds me' I said 'of our recent Allotment Committee AGM, when our Chairman, another Gordon the Moron, tried so hard to ingratiate himself with everyone that he almost disappeared up his own backside.'
Nosher looked across at me, frowning.
'Can anyone be as bad as the real Gordon the Moron?' his question was tentative, as if not wishing to learn the truth.
'Oh, yes' I said 'they are two of a kind. After all, our own Gordon the Moron has put our little allotment's finances in hock by borrowing against future subscriptions, thus necessitating a rise in subscriptions because we haven't attracted any new members. The real Gordon the Moron is no better - he's heavily mortgaged the future of the entire country at a time when we're facing a recession.'
'Still, our own Gordon the Moron did manage to get himself re-elected at our recent AGM, more's the pity' said Nosher. 'Some fools still believe in him.'
We consoled ourselves with more of Nosher's excellent home-made parsnip wine, and gazed upon the sun-bathed scene that lay before us.
'I think we'll have a good crop this year' Nosher announced, indicating his neat rows of runner beans growing up their canes. I had other things on my mind.
'What is it about people who consider themselves natural leaders that turns them into self-deceiving, manipulative creeps?' I asked, not really expecting an outpouring of wisdom from Nosher.
It's a question I ask myself time and time again, and I'm still working on the answer.
Nosher, however, had an answer ready, it seemed, for he launched into an explanation that took me by surprise.
'It's the result of blind ambition, blind faith in their own abilities, and a mixture of ruthlessness and self-deceit, which enables them to convince themselves that their own narcissistic desire for status, prestige, privilege and power is in the best interests of those upon whom they impose their hubris, incompetence and stupidity' declared Nosher confidently, and all in one great rush of breath.
'Gosh, what on earth have you been reading?' I asked.
'Your own book, you idiot!' said Nosher 'can't you remember what you wrote in it?'
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
And www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Celebrity Causes
The one thing that unites the English is complaining about the weather - or, to be more accurate, about the weather forecast.
In England weather forecasters get blamed for almost anything, from the wrong-shaped clouds in the sky, to too many sheep on the roads.
Just occasionally we have reason to be grateful when they get their forecasts wrong, as on a lovely warm sunny afternoon recently when heavy cloud and rain had been foretold.
Instead Nosher and I could sit outside on our old deckchairs sipping his excellent parsnip wine and discussing the issues of the day.
And not a sheep in sight, as it happened.
'I hear that some rich celebrities have started a campaign to get the UN to do something about the refugee crisis in Darfur' I said, after swirling the nectar of the gods around in my glass for a few moments.
Nosher grunted.
'Celebrities. Urgh!' was all he could manage by way of an intelligible reply.
All around us the sights and sounds of spring were vibrant in their intensity - the blue tits were singing in the trees, the plants we'd planted in the ground were growing happily away.
But Nosher did not seem at all pleased by this.
'I had a celebrity carrot once' he said, sounding miserable. 'She was called Carrie.'
'What's so bad about having a celebrity carrot called Carrie?' I asked.
'Because when you're a celebrity your fans think they own you, and you have to be the person they want you to be, and then you get a lot of silly ideas in your head' said Nosher all in one breath.
'Do you speak from personal experience?' I can't imagine the Nosher I know ever being a celebrity, with his tatty Wellington boots, torn trousers held up with bailer twine, frayed shirt-collar, ripped jacket and moth-eaten old cap. And his almost permanent curmudgeonly scowl.
'No! I just know what happened to Carrie the Celebrity Carrot' he replied.
'So what did happen to her?'
'I put her in a stew and ate her.'
After this Nosher appeared to descend into reverie, so I left him to his thoughts for a few moments.
But then I just had to ask the question:
'Why?'
'Carrie the Carrot was the largest and best carrot I ever grew' Nosher explained, already wearied by the tale he was about to tell. 'She won "Best Carrot in Show" at the Sodding Chippery Annual Produce Show thirty years ago. The Lady Mayoress, who was judging, had drunk a little too much of my parsnip wine, and said that my enormous carrot reminded her of her husband's...no, it's too disgusting to say.'
Nosher fell silent, slowly shaking the unwelcome memories out of is head.
Then he continued:
'Anyway, after that there were interviews for Gardener's World and Allotment Weekly, and then one evening, over supper, Carrie the Celebrity Carrot announced she was going to use her new-found fame and popularity to start a campaign to ban furs in the fashion trade. I mean, whoever heard of anything so ridiculous - a carrot wearing furs!'
'Yes, I do remember a celebrity campaign to ban furs from the fashion trade' I said 'but it fizzled out and now fur is becoming popular again with the narcissistic exhibitionists who populate the world of fashion. It's a sad reflection on human nature really - cute little furry baby animals being slaughtered purely to serve the cause of human vanity. But I don't remember a celebrity carrot called Carrie being involved with all that.'
'That's because I wasn't putting up with any of that nonsense, and she went in a stew' Nosher said, sounding relieved to have got to the end of the story. 'And now there's all this nonsense about celebrities campaigning to help refugees in Darfur. In a week's time they'll have been distracted by something more appealing to their fickle celebrity minds and the whole thing will fizzle out, just like the anti-fur campaign did.'
'I think you're being too hard on them' I said 'after all, what's wrong with celebrities trying to make the world a better place? Their motives may be suspect, but does it really matter if some good comes out of it?'
Nosher appeared to think on this for a few moments. Then he said:
'No, I suppose you're right. But I still miss Carrie.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
In England weather forecasters get blamed for almost anything, from the wrong-shaped clouds in the sky, to too many sheep on the roads.
Just occasionally we have reason to be grateful when they get their forecasts wrong, as on a lovely warm sunny afternoon recently when heavy cloud and rain had been foretold.
Instead Nosher and I could sit outside on our old deckchairs sipping his excellent parsnip wine and discussing the issues of the day.
And not a sheep in sight, as it happened.
'I hear that some rich celebrities have started a campaign to get the UN to do something about the refugee crisis in Darfur' I said, after swirling the nectar of the gods around in my glass for a few moments.
Nosher grunted.
'Celebrities. Urgh!' was all he could manage by way of an intelligible reply.
All around us the sights and sounds of spring were vibrant in their intensity - the blue tits were singing in the trees, the plants we'd planted in the ground were growing happily away.
But Nosher did not seem at all pleased by this.
'I had a celebrity carrot once' he said, sounding miserable. 'She was called Carrie.'
'What's so bad about having a celebrity carrot called Carrie?' I asked.
'Because when you're a celebrity your fans think they own you, and you have to be the person they want you to be, and then you get a lot of silly ideas in your head' said Nosher all in one breath.
'Do you speak from personal experience?' I can't imagine the Nosher I know ever being a celebrity, with his tatty Wellington boots, torn trousers held up with bailer twine, frayed shirt-collar, ripped jacket and moth-eaten old cap. And his almost permanent curmudgeonly scowl.
'No! I just know what happened to Carrie the Celebrity Carrot' he replied.
'So what did happen to her?'
'I put her in a stew and ate her.'
After this Nosher appeared to descend into reverie, so I left him to his thoughts for a few moments.
But then I just had to ask the question:
'Why?'
'Carrie the Carrot was the largest and best carrot I ever grew' Nosher explained, already wearied by the tale he was about to tell. 'She won "Best Carrot in Show" at the Sodding Chippery Annual Produce Show thirty years ago. The Lady Mayoress, who was judging, had drunk a little too much of my parsnip wine, and said that my enormous carrot reminded her of her husband's...no, it's too disgusting to say.'
Nosher fell silent, slowly shaking the unwelcome memories out of is head.
Then he continued:
'Anyway, after that there were interviews for Gardener's World and Allotment Weekly, and then one evening, over supper, Carrie the Celebrity Carrot announced she was going to use her new-found fame and popularity to start a campaign to ban furs in the fashion trade. I mean, whoever heard of anything so ridiculous - a carrot wearing furs!'
'Yes, I do remember a celebrity campaign to ban furs from the fashion trade' I said 'but it fizzled out and now fur is becoming popular again with the narcissistic exhibitionists who populate the world of fashion. It's a sad reflection on human nature really - cute little furry baby animals being slaughtered purely to serve the cause of human vanity. But I don't remember a celebrity carrot called Carrie being involved with all that.'
'That's because I wasn't putting up with any of that nonsense, and she went in a stew' Nosher said, sounding relieved to have got to the end of the story. 'And now there's all this nonsense about celebrities campaigning to help refugees in Darfur. In a week's time they'll have been distracted by something more appealing to their fickle celebrity minds and the whole thing will fizzle out, just like the anti-fur campaign did.'
'I think you're being too hard on them' I said 'after all, what's wrong with celebrities trying to make the world a better place? Their motives may be suspect, but does it really matter if some good comes out of it?'
Nosher appeared to think on this for a few moments. Then he said:
'No, I suppose you're right. But I still miss Carrie.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't, it may not be there next time you visit!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Human Rights for Soldiers - and Vegetables?
The moral cowardice of those who lead us has at long last been fully exposed by the High Court in a judgement that, effectively, has awarded enforceable human rights to the brave men and women in our armed forces when out on operations.
This comes after years of outrage from Coroner's Courts and the general public at the unnessary deaths and injuries resulting to our armed forces because they lack suitable equipment due to years of disgraceful penny-pinching by - yes, you've guessed it - Gordon the Moron.
But Des 'Desrez' Brown (the lesser-spotted Brown in our Government, not thought to be related to Gordon the Moron, except in their propensity for cynical idiocy), who is our not-so-highly esteemed Secretary of State for Defence, has announced the Government will appeal.
So now we have the unappealing prospect of our own Government, which is supposed to look after our interests, campaigning to deny human rights to our own servicemen and women when out on the battlefield.
These same men and women are the sons and daughters of this little country of ours - whose interests the Government claims to be protecting.
So how come these brave men and women, who are prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for their country, are treated so shabbily by Gordon the Moron and his Assistants in Idiocy?
'What on earth is going through their tiny little minds?' asked Nosher, as he settled into his old deckchair in the warm afternoon sun.
'Money' I replied, as I accepted the proffered wine glass and watched it being filled with parsnip wine. 'This is an exercise in cynical expedience - the bean-counters think it would cost far too much to protect the human rights of servicemen and women, so our rulers have always treated our armed forces badly when it comes to looking after them properly.'
We sat in silence for a while and watched a beautiful Great Spotted Woodpecker feeding off a fat ball Nosher had hung from the nearby willow tree. When the bird had taken his fill and flown off with a fat belly, Nosher remarked:
'I suppose their justification is that when someone signs up they are voluntarily giving up any right to being treated properly, and must rely on the goodwill shown by those who have power over them - which can evaporate very quickly as soon as money is involved.'
'We treat the vegetables we plant in our allotments better than the Government treats the servicemen and women who serve this country' I declared 'because we see our vegetables as an investment of our time and effort, and view them as having some intrinsic value, so we look after them properly.'
Nosher nodded in agreement.
'I hadn't looked at it that way before' he said 'but I can see your point.'
'Whereas so far as the Government is concerned' I continued 'servicemen and women appear to be expendable - it all comes down to the relative costs of replacing them with new recruits who will in turn be sent onto the front line to get shot at or blown to pieces, while Gordon the Moron is feasting at some posh state banquet enjoying the fat of the land.'
'And, of course' said Nosher 'once they've signed up they can't complain publicly about the conditions imposed upon them because that would be a breach of military discipline. So it's up to those outside the military to make a fuss. And they're doing a good job, if this legal judgement is anything to go by.'
We watched the Great Spotted Woodpecker return for another feast on the fat ball.
'Let us hope' I said, with a tinge of the pulpit in my voice 'that this Government of morally-underdeveloped idiots will feel shamed into accepting this judgement, and those who put their lives on the line for this country will at last be treated with the care and respect they properly deserve.'
'Hear, hear!' said Nosher as we raised our glasses in a toast to those on the front line.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from all good bookshops.
Please use your local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
This comes after years of outrage from Coroner's Courts and the general public at the unnessary deaths and injuries resulting to our armed forces because they lack suitable equipment due to years of disgraceful penny-pinching by - yes, you've guessed it - Gordon the Moron.
But Des 'Desrez' Brown (the lesser-spotted Brown in our Government, not thought to be related to Gordon the Moron, except in their propensity for cynical idiocy), who is our not-so-highly esteemed Secretary of State for Defence, has announced the Government will appeal.
So now we have the unappealing prospect of our own Government, which is supposed to look after our interests, campaigning to deny human rights to our own servicemen and women when out on the battlefield.
These same men and women are the sons and daughters of this little country of ours - whose interests the Government claims to be protecting.
So how come these brave men and women, who are prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for their country, are treated so shabbily by Gordon the Moron and his Assistants in Idiocy?
'What on earth is going through their tiny little minds?' asked Nosher, as he settled into his old deckchair in the warm afternoon sun.
'Money' I replied, as I accepted the proffered wine glass and watched it being filled with parsnip wine. 'This is an exercise in cynical expedience - the bean-counters think it would cost far too much to protect the human rights of servicemen and women, so our rulers have always treated our armed forces badly when it comes to looking after them properly.'
We sat in silence for a while and watched a beautiful Great Spotted Woodpecker feeding off a fat ball Nosher had hung from the nearby willow tree. When the bird had taken his fill and flown off with a fat belly, Nosher remarked:
'I suppose their justification is that when someone signs up they are voluntarily giving up any right to being treated properly, and must rely on the goodwill shown by those who have power over them - which can evaporate very quickly as soon as money is involved.'
'We treat the vegetables we plant in our allotments better than the Government treats the servicemen and women who serve this country' I declared 'because we see our vegetables as an investment of our time and effort, and view them as having some intrinsic value, so we look after them properly.'
Nosher nodded in agreement.
'I hadn't looked at it that way before' he said 'but I can see your point.'
'Whereas so far as the Government is concerned' I continued 'servicemen and women appear to be expendable - it all comes down to the relative costs of replacing them with new recruits who will in turn be sent onto the front line to get shot at or blown to pieces, while Gordon the Moron is feasting at some posh state banquet enjoying the fat of the land.'
'And, of course' said Nosher 'once they've signed up they can't complain publicly about the conditions imposed upon them because that would be a breach of military discipline. So it's up to those outside the military to make a fuss. And they're doing a good job, if this legal judgement is anything to go by.'
We watched the Great Spotted Woodpecker return for another feast on the fat ball.
'Let us hope' I said, with a tinge of the pulpit in my voice 'that this Government of morally-underdeveloped idiots will feel shamed into accepting this judgement, and those who put their lives on the line for this country will at last be treated with the care and respect they properly deserve.'
'Hear, hear!' said Nosher as we raised our glasses in a toast to those on the front line.
More from www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com soon.
Find out more at www.paulsturdee.co.uk
and www.PGSBooks.co.uk
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from all good bookshops.
Please use your local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you visit!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
My Enemy's Enemy...
Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom, Nosher and I are wondering why the big fish always get off scot-free when the brown stuff hits the fan, whilst others lower down the food chain are left trying to explain their dubious decisions without incriminating their past and/or present superiors.
'There doesn't appear to be any doubt that backhanders were paid to a Saudi prince to seal the deal' said Nosher 'that's about the only thing that isn't disputed.'
'The deeper issues are far more interesting' I said 'for example, why is it that our country claims to support democracy and freedom and human rights, yet we sell enormous quantities of weaponry to a repressive police state, namely Saudi Arabia, whose population live under the constant threat of being arrested by the secret religious police and being tortured, mutilated and even publicly executed simply for not obeying religious regulations that are completely ridiculous? I mean, this is the country that publicly beheaded one of its own princesses in 1982, supposedly for adultery! And we sell these murderous thugs weapons!'
Nosher smiled wryly.
'We also treated their royal family splendidly when they visited last year' Nosher chuckled 'All these Saudi princes and their advisers were treated considerably better than us impoverished little plebs who are obliged to pay heavy taxes for the largesse displayed on our behalf to already very rich people who are torturers and murderers. And then our idiot leaders expect us to respect them. Do they think we're all morons? Yes, I guess they do.'
In the distant fields beyond the watery ditch we call the Great Piddle two horses whinnied to each other. Then, closer by, a donkey joined in with his contribution.
'Of course' I said 'the idea that BAE had to give a sweetener to a Saudi prince to seal the deal cannot be equated with the flagrant hypocrisy and mendacity of Tony Blair in citing the public interest and security issues for stopping the corruption investigation. Saudi Arabia might pass on security information to Britain about al Qaeda - but that information is almost certainly obtained by torture, and is thus tainted, morally and evidentially. And just because Osama bin Laden thinks the Saudi government is not extreme enough (in other words, he'd torture and kill even more people than they do if he were in power) doesn't make the Saudi government a suitable ally for a supposedly ethical country like ours.'
'And then Blair instantly caved in the moment the Saudis put pressure on him to stop the investigation' commented Nosher 'a clear case of craven cowardice in allowing a foreign power to interfere with the process of our justice system.'
'You'd think' I said 'that someone supposedly with such high ethical standards as Tony Blair might have brokered a deal whereby the Saudis returned the money they'd taken from BAE and stopped asking for backhanders in future, but then perhaps Tony Blair isn't as ethical as he likes to pretend. He is, after all, a lawyer by profession.'
We sat for a while watching our fledgling crops growing in the warm sunshine.
'I'm beginning to think' I continued 'that all this propaganda heaped upon us about freedom and democracy and human rights is merely a device to conceal from us little people that our political system in this country is really about the rich, the ruthless, the clever and the greedy getting their own way at the expense of those of us who don't wish to be like them.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're so stupid' looks.
'Well, better late than never' he said 'and no one's even mentioned oil.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't use it, it may not be there next time you visit!
The High Court in London has described as a 'failure of Government' the decision by the SFO to cease its investigation into suspected corruption in the dealings between BAE and representatives of the Saudi Government. The real culprit was, of course, our then Prime Minister, Tony 'I'm such a Nice Guy' Blair, who at the time cited the public interest and security issues as the reason for stopping the investigation.
We were, as usual, sat on our old deckchairs in the warm afternoon sun outside Nosher's shed, after a few hour's gardening. The parsnip wine tasted like nectar collected especially for the gods.'There doesn't appear to be any doubt that backhanders were paid to a Saudi prince to seal the deal' said Nosher 'that's about the only thing that isn't disputed.'
'The deeper issues are far more interesting' I said 'for example, why is it that our country claims to support democracy and freedom and human rights, yet we sell enormous quantities of weaponry to a repressive police state, namely Saudi Arabia, whose population live under the constant threat of being arrested by the secret religious police and being tortured, mutilated and even publicly executed simply for not obeying religious regulations that are completely ridiculous? I mean, this is the country that publicly beheaded one of its own princesses in 1982, supposedly for adultery! And we sell these murderous thugs weapons!'
Nosher smiled wryly.
'We also treated their royal family splendidly when they visited last year' Nosher chuckled 'All these Saudi princes and their advisers were treated considerably better than us impoverished little plebs who are obliged to pay heavy taxes for the largesse displayed on our behalf to already very rich people who are torturers and murderers. And then our idiot leaders expect us to respect them. Do they think we're all morons? Yes, I guess they do.'
In the distant fields beyond the watery ditch we call the Great Piddle two horses whinnied to each other. Then, closer by, a donkey joined in with his contribution.
'Of course' I said 'the idea that BAE had to give a sweetener to a Saudi prince to seal the deal cannot be equated with the flagrant hypocrisy and mendacity of Tony Blair in citing the public interest and security issues for stopping the corruption investigation. Saudi Arabia might pass on security information to Britain about al Qaeda - but that information is almost certainly obtained by torture, and is thus tainted, morally and evidentially. And just because Osama bin Laden thinks the Saudi government is not extreme enough (in other words, he'd torture and kill even more people than they do if he were in power) doesn't make the Saudi government a suitable ally for a supposedly ethical country like ours.'
'And then Blair instantly caved in the moment the Saudis put pressure on him to stop the investigation' commented Nosher 'a clear case of craven cowardice in allowing a foreign power to interfere with the process of our justice system.'
'You'd think' I said 'that someone supposedly with such high ethical standards as Tony Blair might have brokered a deal whereby the Saudis returned the money they'd taken from BAE and stopped asking for backhanders in future, but then perhaps Tony Blair isn't as ethical as he likes to pretend. He is, after all, a lawyer by profession.'
We sat for a while watching our fledgling crops growing in the warm sunshine.
'I'm beginning to think' I continued 'that all this propaganda heaped upon us about freedom and democracy and human rights is merely a device to conceal from us little people that our political system in this country is really about the rich, the ruthless, the clever and the greedy getting their own way at the expense of those of us who don't wish to be like them.'
Nosher gave me one of his 'you're so stupid' looks.
'Well, better late than never' he said 'and no one's even mentioned oil.'
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available from Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't use it, it may not be there next time you visit!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
The Academy of the Bleeding Obvious
My best mate Nosher and me were greatly amused by a recent BBC Radio 4 News report that regional accents were seen by many people to indicate a lack of intelligence.
One sunny afternoon, with only the lightest of breezes caressing our cheeks, we sat on our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed enjoying a glass of his excellent parsnip wine, and wondered why there is no an Academy of the Bleeding Obvious in the Dis-United Kingdom.
The Academy of the Bleeding Obvious was invented by the irrepressible Basil Fawlty, but somehow did not appeal to those idiots who rule over us, so they set up City Academies instead, thus continuing the long tradition in this country of teaching children things that are not obvious whilst totally neglecting things that ought to be Bleeding Obvious if only they would open their eyes and their minds.
'I suppose' Nosher started the ball rolling 'that the trendy pseudo-liberal elite who run the BBC will use this as an excuse to put even more people with regional accents on the airwaves, thus rendering their output even less intelligible to the majority of us.'
Now, Nosher and me, well, we've got nothing against regional accents provided they stay in the right place.
'A broad Scottish brogue is a delight to hear - in Scotland' I said. 'And if you wish to hear Liverpudlian or Geordie, then you need only visit Liverpool or Newcastle. But the fact that such accents, if to too broad and vernacularised, are all but unintelligible to ears more accustomed to the cleanly and carefully rounded utterances of Standard English, attests to the desirability of having a version of English that is standardised and thus, in theory at least, intelligible to all.'
'It may be a little unfair' Nosher countered 'as the BBC did in its report, to single out the Brummie accent as being identified by non-Brummies as being the regional accent most indicative of a lack of intelligence - there are many other contenders. In truth the matter is, of course, entirely subjective, and also arbitrary - it depends on where you were born and thus which accent you grew up with.'
I looked at Nosher for a moment, wondering if he was deliberately missing the point.
'If you are content to live in the region of your birth' I explained 'and converse only with the other natives in your own vernacular, on topics as diverse as frottling firkins or muckling your mickers, then that is all very well. But if you wish to get on in the world and spread your wings, than such linguistic narrowness will hamper your progress, since only a very small local audience will be able to understand what you are attempting to communicate to them. It's as obvious as pigs not flying (except in Pink Floyd concerts).'
Nosher gave me his 'you're so stupid' look, with his usual affectionate smile.
'Why can't you ever say anything concisely and to the point?' he asked. Then he went on: 'What you obviously mean is that this country should have an Academy of the Bleeding Obvious that would swing into action and enlighten every schoolchild who aspires to live his or her life using only the vernacular of their native tongue. "You have a choice" they should be told "and now you know the facts, you cannot avoid taking responsibility if you choose to talk in such a way that most of the rest of the country finds unintelligible". Simple - problem solved. If they whinge and whine about not doing well in life because no one understands them, the obvious can politely be pointed out to them again until they get the point.'
'If that's concise I'll eat my thermos flask' I said. 'But to say all this is not an attack on regional accents. Far from it. They are extremely attractive in their area of origin. But allowing anyone to grow up with the belief that they need not make any concessions to the linguistic requirements of living in the wider world is not only stupid, it's criminally negligent. And that is exactly what is happening all around our country with that entirely fictitious regional accent called 'Estuary English'."
For the benefit of any Americans reading this, Estuary English is spoken by the characters on Eastenders, a BBC TV soap that is remarkable only for making all its characters sound like compulsively stupid victims (come to think of it, that's the case with all English soaps).
Estuary English is not a true regional accent but a bastardised version of Cockney combined with elements of numerous accents from the London area, including Essex. It was invented especially for the show. Estuary English is an abomination, and its sound is unpleasing to the ears (unlike so many genuine regional accents).
And yet millions of schoolchildren from as far apart as Cornwall and Kent, now speak in this ugly, crudely constructed tongue, thus instantly labelling themselves as losers in the great game of life, not simply because they watch Eastenders (a worrying sign in any human being, however cultured or intelligent) but because they naively believe this makes them special.
'I suppose you expect me to be reading your thoughts' said Nosher after a long pause.
'No' I said 'but where do you think the first Academy of the Bleeding Obvious should be established?'
'No. 10 Downing Street' Nosher replied with conviction.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available on Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you call in.
One sunny afternoon, with only the lightest of breezes caressing our cheeks, we sat on our old deckchairs outside Nosher's shed enjoying a glass of his excellent parsnip wine, and wondered why there is no an Academy of the Bleeding Obvious in the Dis-United Kingdom.
The Academy of the Bleeding Obvious was invented by the irrepressible Basil Fawlty, but somehow did not appeal to those idiots who rule over us, so they set up City Academies instead, thus continuing the long tradition in this country of teaching children things that are not obvious whilst totally neglecting things that ought to be Bleeding Obvious if only they would open their eyes and their minds.
'I suppose' Nosher started the ball rolling 'that the trendy pseudo-liberal elite who run the BBC will use this as an excuse to put even more people with regional accents on the airwaves, thus rendering their output even less intelligible to the majority of us.'
Now, Nosher and me, well, we've got nothing against regional accents provided they stay in the right place.
'A broad Scottish brogue is a delight to hear - in Scotland' I said. 'And if you wish to hear Liverpudlian or Geordie, then you need only visit Liverpool or Newcastle. But the fact that such accents, if to too broad and vernacularised, are all but unintelligible to ears more accustomed to the cleanly and carefully rounded utterances of Standard English, attests to the desirability of having a version of English that is standardised and thus, in theory at least, intelligible to all.'
'It may be a little unfair' Nosher countered 'as the BBC did in its report, to single out the Brummie accent as being identified by non-Brummies as being the regional accent most indicative of a lack of intelligence - there are many other contenders. In truth the matter is, of course, entirely subjective, and also arbitrary - it depends on where you were born and thus which accent you grew up with.'
I looked at Nosher for a moment, wondering if he was deliberately missing the point.
'If you are content to live in the region of your birth' I explained 'and converse only with the other natives in your own vernacular, on topics as diverse as frottling firkins or muckling your mickers, then that is all very well. But if you wish to get on in the world and spread your wings, than such linguistic narrowness will hamper your progress, since only a very small local audience will be able to understand what you are attempting to communicate to them. It's as obvious as pigs not flying (except in Pink Floyd concerts).'
Nosher gave me his 'you're so stupid' look, with his usual affectionate smile.
'Why can't you ever say anything concisely and to the point?' he asked. Then he went on: 'What you obviously mean is that this country should have an Academy of the Bleeding Obvious that would swing into action and enlighten every schoolchild who aspires to live his or her life using only the vernacular of their native tongue. "You have a choice" they should be told "and now you know the facts, you cannot avoid taking responsibility if you choose to talk in such a way that most of the rest of the country finds unintelligible". Simple - problem solved. If they whinge and whine about not doing well in life because no one understands them, the obvious can politely be pointed out to them again until they get the point.'
'If that's concise I'll eat my thermos flask' I said. 'But to say all this is not an attack on regional accents. Far from it. They are extremely attractive in their area of origin. But allowing anyone to grow up with the belief that they need not make any concessions to the linguistic requirements of living in the wider world is not only stupid, it's criminally negligent. And that is exactly what is happening all around our country with that entirely fictitious regional accent called 'Estuary English'."
For the benefit of any Americans reading this, Estuary English is spoken by the characters on Eastenders, a BBC TV soap that is remarkable only for making all its characters sound like compulsively stupid victims (come to think of it, that's the case with all English soaps).
Estuary English is not a true regional accent but a bastardised version of Cockney combined with elements of numerous accents from the London area, including Essex. It was invented especially for the show. Estuary English is an abomination, and its sound is unpleasing to the ears (unlike so many genuine regional accents).
And yet millions of schoolchildren from as far apart as Cornwall and Kent, now speak in this ugly, crudely constructed tongue, thus instantly labelling themselves as losers in the great game of life, not simply because they watch Eastenders (a worrying sign in any human being, however cultured or intelligent) but because they naively believe this makes them special.
'I suppose you expect me to be reading your thoughts' said Nosher after a long pause.
'No' I said 'but where do you think the first Academy of the Bleeding Obvious should be established?'
'No. 10 Downing Street' Nosher replied with conviction.
More from http://www.overthegardenfence.blogspot.com/ soon.
Find out more at http://www.paulsturdee.co.uk/
and http://www.pgsbooks.co.uk/
Paul Sturdee's book Is God a Terrorist? is available on Amazon and all good booksellers.
Please support your local bookshop - if you don't it may not be there next time you call in.
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