Family Life in UK Now in Meltdown

Down on our little allotment in South Gloucestershire in the good old Dis-United Kingdom Nosher and I watch over the world with a weary eye, as the mistakes of the past continue to be repeated by successive generations. During the past ten years the idiots who rule over us have now added a new mistake of of such gargantuan proportions that it may, in time, render the country ungovernable: The official, systematic and relentless destruction of family life.
After a day's pottering around in the sunshine, during which the wind became increasingly cold and dark menacing cloud banks billowed against the blue sky, Nosher and I retreated to his shed and our comfortable old deckchairs.
'Well, I don't think much of lawyers or judges these days' said Nosher as his opening gambit 'but Mr Justice Coleridge's speech lambasting government policy on the family has hit the nail exactly on the head.'
He handed me a glass of parsnip wine with a theatrical flourish. Nosher's elegant concoction, made entirely from home-grown ingredients, tasted extremely good.
'I think he got one thing wrong, though' I replied 'the judge said that the government was not directly responsible for the meltdown in family life. I disagree - I think the idiots who rule over us are directly responsible. They consistently refuse to acknowledge that their moronically stupid attempts to alleviate child poverty have simply enabled millions of work-shy morally underdeveloped people to reproduce at the state's expense, thus actually increasing the number of dysfunctional single-parent and double-parent families in which no one has worked often for three generations. To elaborate a sentiment expressed by Arthur Laffer, if you pay people to be poor, ignorant, dependent, irresponsible, morally underdeveloped and economically non-productive, that's exactly how they will stay. But they won't stop breeding, in fact they'll breed even faster, because they get even more money from the state the more children they produce. These families will always be poor, because their attitude towards money is "spend it today, the state will give us more tomorrow". So they fritter their money away on junk food and junk entertainment, and they don't invest in the future and are thus always poor. This government's policies for the past ten years have actually increased the problem of child poverty and dysfunctional familes, although the idiots who rule over us are too blinded by their own ideological stupidity to acknowledge it.'
There was a long pause while Nosher digested all this. Then he said:
'Is there something in this wine? You are beginning to sound a bit like me!'
'No, I don't think it's the wine' I said 'I'm just letting off steam about how this country is slowly sinking into political, social and economic meltdown. The only people who benefit from this are the super-rich, who will continue to bleed us dry and then simply remove themselves and their wealth to another country, along with their political hangers-on (who will no doubt get big pay-offs) when the final collapse comes.'
'Gosh! You are getting cynical' Nosher remarked.
'No, it's not cynicism, it's despair' I said. Nosher raised his eyebrows in mock pity.
'One of Gordon the Moron's Assistants in Idiocy has released a statement disputing the judge's criticisms' he commented with a mischievous smile 'the statement declared that supporting the family and alleviating child poverty has always been at the top of New Labour's agenda since 1997.'
'When governments release statements that are obviously at odds with the reality in which the rest of us live they are merely demonstrating that they are idiotically stupid, deluded, or lying, or perhaps all three' I countered.
'Well, maybe it's a good thing us two are in the autumn of our lives' Nosher remarked 'at least we have a lifetime of work and some little achievements to look back upon, and now we can spend our days pottering around on our allotment plots growing good wholesome nutritional food, instead of paying the food industry to sell us junk. On the other hand, the millions of dysfunctional families the state now supports with taxpayer's money are going to find life increasingly hard as the long economic decline gets even steeper, because their welfare benefits will be cut, and their lack of resourcefulness and self-reliance will begin to show even more. Still, everyone has a choice: learn, change and grow, and build a better life, or sit on your backsides watching junk TV and eating junk food and stagnate into complaining, resentful, dependent morons.'
'Wow! I think it must be something in the wine after all' I said.
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