The Long Decline

I arrived at the allotment to find Nosher in a very pensive mood.
Taciturn doesn't even begin to describe his attitude.
I'd seen him like this before, so left him alone and busied myself on my own little plot.
When lunchtime arrived, I approached his ancient wooden shed with mild trepidation, wondering what sort of reception I'd get.
But his mood seemed to have improved, and he merely said:
'Here's your deckchair, laddie, now make yourself comfortable!'
I accepted the proffered glass of chilled fruitjuice and sat down. As Nosher did the same I searched his face for signs of what was to come.
'The news is bad' he said 'I've never known this country in such a state of cultural and social decline in all my 75 years upon the planet.'
'You sound depressed, Nosh' I ventured.
'I'm angry!' Nosher replied 'angry at the mess these bloody politicians of all parties have got this country into. The OECD is predicting a major recession for the Dis-United Kingdom over the next two years, Gordon the Moron is threatening a clamp-down on knife crime without putting the investment into youth facilities that might tempt the young away from violence, and the pay of a young squaddie is now less than that of a traffic warden, after which many of our ex-servicemen and women are simply thrown on the scrap-heap of life by our cynical government. And to top it all, Gordon the Moron borrowed so much money during his ten years as Chancellor that the national debt is about as high as it can possibly go without threatening economic collapse, so there'll be no more money for investment in essential services unless taxes are put higher and higher. Meanwhile, the poorer people of this country - which includes me - are struggling with a rate of inflation which is far higher than the 3% the lying bastards who rule us admit to. If I were fifty years younger I'd emigrate. As it is I'm condemned to sit and watch this country go down the tubes, and go down with it.'
'Well, if it's any consolation, Nosh' I told him 'I'm in the same boat as you - too old and poor to emigrate - so if you don't mind I'll keep you company.'
'When will these idiots who think they're in charge come to their senses?'
was all he said.
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