Torture and Killing Is Legal - But Only When We Order It, Says US

The United States Government has announced that it will shortly try six of the terror suspects held illegally at Guantanamo Bay. The trials will be secret military tribunals, and the prosecution will demand the death penalty.
Meantime, the US Government continues to use torture methods such as 'waterboarding' on these suspects (a technique they condemned when the Vietcong used it on American POWs in Vietnam), claiming that it does not amount to torture.
What's changed since the Vietcong used waterboarding? Why, the US has decided it's a good idea after all, so it must be all right! (So long as it's not used by other countries on Americans who are not suspected by the US of being terrorists.)
The US has consistently violated international treaties on human rights in regard to the detainees at Guantanamo Bay, whilst condemning out of hand any other country that uses the same methods but is not on their side in their imbecilic 'War on Terror'.
Down on our little allotment, Nosher and me are no strangers to the hypocrisy and self-serving nature of great power. Our little allotment is divided by a stream, called the Great Piddle, from a much larger allotment we call the United States of Allotments. The chairman of their allotment committee is nicknamed 'George W', and when, a few years ago, the USA succumbed to a dreadful attack of carrot root-fly, George W went into overdrive.
'This is terrorism!' George W announced. 'If you're not with us you're against us!' he called menacingly to Nosher and me across the Great Piddle. Since we thought the ills now being suffered by the USA were largely self-induced (they treated their carrots dreadfully badly) we were not keen on joining George W in what was bound to be a disaster given his prevous record at running a vegetable stall at the local market. But the then chairman of our little allotment committee, nicknamed 'Tony Blair' (a slimy ex-lawyer who would do almost anything to ingratiate himself to people with power and money) immediately leapt the Great Piddle and embraced George W warmly.
'Don't worry' oozed Blair with ingratiating slime 'the little allotment will be your biggest ally'.
'Yo! Blair' replied George W, a response only the very wise or the very stupid could make any sense of.
Thus fortified in the knowledge that he had our small allotment as his only ally of any worth, George W rushed headlong towards catastrophe. He immediately ordered all the carrots to be rounded up and confined in a damp dark corner of the allotment by the Great Piddle, where they were regularly drowned with great quantities of water from a hosepipe.
This interrogation technique, known to all wise allotment gardners to result only in tainted testimony, produced little by way of results, so George W resorted to brow-beating.
'I know you terrorists are very clever and resourceful in your attempts to destroy the USA' he thundered at them 'but I will do even better!' And he was true to his word.
Soon the entire United States of Allotments was oppressed with new allotment rules making it a crime for any vegetable to say anything bad about George W and his band of buffoons on the allotment committee, or to say anything remotely good about anyone suspected of being a terrorist, or who might be a terrorist one day, or who even looked slightly like a carrot.
The carrots, meanwhile, succumbed to the water treatment, and the rest of the USA did very badly that year, and ever since, because almost all the vegetables decided not to bother growing very well on account of how badly they were being treated.
George W learned nothing from this exercise in ineptitude, and now, as his second term as allotment committee chairman draws to an end and a replacement must be found, the vegetables are getting very keen on a black man (never before has the USA has a black allotment committee chairman!) who is promising them all sorts of nice things. Only time will tell whether Barrack (for that is what we've nicknamed him) will be able to deliver.
Thus does real life merely mimic life on the allotment, for all that can be said and done has already happened on some little plot somewhere.
As for Nosher and me, well, we must patiently await the passing of George W, in the hope that under a new leader the USA will return to sanity once more (or what passes for sanity on the other side of the Great Piddle).
More from overthegardenfence soon.